Looking West for Adventure
by Bergslaw
Summary: Maura Isles leaves Boston to start the adventure of a lifetime
1. A Start

**I am in awe JoBethMegAmy. my homegirls story Calamity Jane Meets Dr Isles, Medicine Woman  She has inspired me to try my hand at a western. If you have not read her work, you're missing out on a GREAT story. Mine won't compare in talent or fashion, but thought it would still be fun to give the theme an try. **

**Thank you JoBethMegAmy for a great story.**

* * *

Looking West For Adventure

Intro

Dear Mr. Watson,

I heard from a friend of mine today that you were interested in creating a collection of journals, letters, pictures, and other material with hopes of better understanding the sort of people who traveled west, settling these great states. I would be honored if you would accept a copy of a journal written by my great, great, great grandmother Maura Isles. It's been passed down in my family for five generations, always going to the oldest child. It means so much to me and I am hoping it may help you in a small way.

Maura was a young woman when she left her home in Boston to travel out west, to the great state of California. Her dreams of adventure and the great unknown would finally come true. She wanted land, independence, and she was not going to let anything stop her. She was never married, which was very uncommon, especially since she came from a wealthy family. She did have a child. Little is known of the father.

Maura's father and mother were killed tragically in a fire. Her father, David Isles owned one of the largest shipping companies in Boston, and after his passing, Maura inherited a large amount of money. It was in that moment that Maura made a daring change for the better. Not wanting to settle down, Maura gave into the wondering spirit that lived within. She sold her family business. She and Daren gathered their things and left within a week after its sale. Enclosed is her story. I hope you find it as enduring a tale of adventure, forbidden love, and exactly what kind of trials the men and women who settled the west endured.

Sincerely,

Anna Francis Rizzoli


	2. A Chance Meeting

**A/N:** This story will vary from journal perspective of Maura Isles to story told in 3rd person form. The journal entries will be in italics and the standard story in normal font. This story is a A/U set in the west. Characters you'll recognize by names which won't change, but settings will. There will also be some of my own characters. Yes, for the purpose of the story Maura has a son, but it is not as clear as it seemed to be from the current generations perspective looking back (meaning did Maura actually have a son? And if so how and with who? Not all is as it appears).

xxxxxx

_April the 5th 1859_

_What seems like it is just the beginning of a long journey is. Council Bluffs was an interesting starting place. I met many wonderful people there, some of whom I travel with even now. We will remain on this road for quite some time._

_Traveled hard today. My efforts of learning how to properly handle the oxen have paid off tenfold. I am glad I took the opportunity to learn as much as I could. While some others find it appalling that a woman would travel alone, or even with a boy of ten, I find it refreshing. Leo is a good boy. He needs love and a mother's hand. We all do. Looking at him, makes me miss my own mother and father so much._

_I was up once again with the sun this morning. The people I travel with seem nice enough. Reverend Martin doesn't seem to know what to make of me or Leo. I find this amusing. This man who can find God in everything, can't seem to find sense in a woman selling off everything she owns to travel to the great state of California. I don't mind his curious eyes however. If anything, I find them flattering. To follow ones dreams and succeed on your own, I do believe might in fact be God's work._

_Although the scenery is the same, it is not. It's like watching the waves on the coasts of Cape Cod. Although the waves each appear similar to the watchful eye, they each bring about some form of peacefulness, and calming effect they do in fact differ from one another. The rolling grass does the same for me as I sit in my wagon each day._

_A man who I know as Jonathan brought me fresh milk from his cow this evening. It was a pleasant treat and I know Leo enjoyed it as well. As this adventure first began Leo insisted on sleeping on his own, with nothing more than his dirty jacket to cover him. Too many years of sleeping on the streets I suspect. Thankfully, with time, he now sleeps in a tent I made, with real blankets and a pillow. I know a boy h is age needs space, but he also needs the proper things to ensure he sleeps well._

_I had invited Jonathan to stay and join us for dinner. Our pleasant conversation still is fresh on my mind as I lay here preparing for bed. I enjoy his company tremendously. He is so unlike the men back in Boston. He finds it most fascinating that a woman of my age and class has struck out to "find herself". He has a nice smile, and rough hands. That is the best way to describe him I do believe. He also listens to me, and my views. I find that most refreshing. I do believe he and I shall make good friends._

_xxxxxxxxx_

_xxxxxxxxx_

_April 29, 1859_

_It rained today. The wind made travel difficult for some of the wagons. At first I feared that a bigger storm would arrive, but we managed to steer clear of one by luck. Reverend Martin would say it had nothing to do with luck, only divine intervention. I do find him most entertaining._

_Jonathan spent the day riding along side of me. We talked about cattle ranching as well as farming. He is quite wise for an uneducated man. Although I do believe I am beginning to realize out here, education will neither make nor break you, for it is that of your fellow man that you find the will to survive._

_Mrs. Anna is in her fifth month now. She and her husband amuse me. He is very protective of her. He insists on doing most her share of the work. Jonathan informed me that her last child was lost to them in her sixth month. I don't understand why they would choose now to venture out on this trail while at such a critical stage in her pregnancy, but I am beginning to realize I don't understand much of anything really. Yet still, I can't help but wonder if the choice was hers to make. She has expressed great relief that I am traveling with the group. I may not be a licensed Doctor, but without arrogance I saw with 100% confidence I am better educated then most in procedures, medicines, and other herbal remedies. I hope those skills suit me on this trip._

_I met someone today. Someone…well more amazing then anyone I've ever met. Her name is Jane. She is my age. We have so many similarities- yet so many differences. Our meeting was quite the amazing chance really. I owe her Leo's life. If it hasn't been for her…I dare not finish the thought._

_xxxxxxx_

_xxxxxxx_

"Leo!" Maura called out from behind the wagon wheel. "Leo dinner!"

"Five more minutes Maura!" Leo called back from behind a large rock about sixty yards away.

"Fine…but stay close. Don't wander any further then that."

"Yes Maura," Leo smiled and waved and went back to playing with the other children.

Five more minutes had passed when Maura went back to look for Leo. "Leo!" this time she received no answer. She felt the rumble before hearing it. "What the …" she was confused. She heard two men rush over the hillside shouting, "Stampede!"

"Leo," Maura breathed out running toward the hill. "Leo!" she screamed knowing he was in danger. She could just feel it. She moved as fast as her feet would carry her. Down below her, in the valley she could see Leo…about fifty yards ahead of the buffalo…but the buffalo were gaining ground fast.

"He'll be crushed!" Maura screamed and began to run down the hill. Jonathan grabbed her arm. "No Maura…you can't…You'll be killed."

"Let me go," she broke out of his hold. "That's my son!" Jonathan knew Leo wasn't Maura's son by blood, but it was clear she couldn't have loved him more.

"Look!" Anna shouted and pointed. All eyes were on the lone figure who rode past the buffalo, very dangerously barely ahead of them. They reached down and swooped up the boy in their arms, never slowing the fast gallop of their horse.

"He's got the boy!" Reverend Martin shouted.

"Leo…" Maura felt tears running down her face as the horse, rider, and child approached them.

"Thank you for…" Maura let the words slip out as she caught eyes with the most dashing person she'd ever seen. "…saving him…" and for the first time ever in her life...Maura Isles was lost for words.

"He's okay," Jane smiled and got down off the horse, the boy in her arms. "Shaken up a bit…but okay."

"You saved him…"

"I was lucky. I have a fast horse," Jane smirked not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

"And quite the hands too," Reverend Martin said adding his two cents. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen. Touch by God no doubt."

"Luck," was Jane's only response as she nodded.

"What's your name?" Maura asked approaching the stranger more closely. She shake the feeling she knew her from somewhere.

"Jane. Jane Rizzoli."

"Well Jane," Maura held out her hand. "Please…join us for dinner. It's the least I could do."

"Sure," Jane smiled and followed Maura to the wagon area where dinner was waiting. Jonathan watched on as jealousy ran through him unsure as to why. She was just some woman. Maura was his, or would be soon enough.


	3. Penny for your Thoughts Ms Isles

A/N: Thank you so much for your feedback, as well as all the new people following this story and my other works. Your support is greatly appreciated. I'd really love to hear what you think so far of this story. Thanks.

xxxxxxx

_April 29, 1859_

_Jane joined us for dinner as well as a fire. We spent the evening speaking of our childhood. I find her refreshing! She is perhaps indeed the first real friend I have ever really had. This thought makes me both happy at have finding her and equally sad that I've gone this long without feeling this kind of connection. That is not to say I have not known others, but now I can't help but wonder if they were my friends: Because of me or because of my family name._

_How odd is it that just in the few hours we spent together I feel as though I know her so well already. She is a kind woman, making this journey alone with no husband. No children. It appears to me, though Jane did not say anything, that a fresh start was necessary for her as well. Seems most people who travel these parts are running to something or from something. She is a strong woman. I admire her so._

xxxxxx

"That was the best meal I've had in a long time," Jane smiled at Maura. Maura blushed slightly and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Thank you."

"That's adorable," Jane pointed at Maura flashing her a smile. "Your blush. You don't take compliments well huh?" This caused another blush to come out of Maura. "It's cute. Shows that you're both sincere, honest, and not expecting. I admire that."

"Again," Maura nodded. "Thank you."

"Maura," Leo said rubbing his eyes. "I'm tired."

"I'm not surprised. Come on let's get you to bed," Maura stood. "Would you care to stay longer or do you have to go?" she asked Jane.

"I can stay," Jane nodded. "Night kid," she waved to Leo.

"Night Jane," Leo smiled and approached the woman giving her a hug. "Thank you for saving me today. I've never met a real cowboy before," he said in awe.

"They're not what they're cracked up to be," Jane winked. "They smell funny too." Leo laughed.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" he asked hopeful.

"I'd like that," Jane nodded, looking to Maura who nodded her approval. "See you tomorrow Leo."

"Night Jane. Night Maura."

Maura returned a few moments later with whisky. "A drink?"

"Sure," Jane smiled and took the small cup from Maura. Maura poured herself one. "Thank you again Jane…you saved my Leo's life today. No doubt about it."

"Maura you don't have to keep thanking me," Jane said honestly. "I'm just glad I was there and could help."

"So…why are you here?" Maura asked sipping the whisky.

"Same reason you are I'm sure," Jane answered and downed the cup. "California."

"Yes," Maura nodded. "Same reason."

"You seem young…to have a boy that old and traveling alone," Jane offered. "Is your husband meeting you there?"

"No," Maura shook her head. "I don't have a husband."

"Oh," Jane said. "Sorry…I didn't mean to…"

"No it's okay," Maura waved her worry off.

"He's a great kid Maura," Jane smiled looking in the direction of the wagon.

"Leo isn't actually…well he seems to be mine now, but I've taken him in. His parents died on there way over here to America. He was only 7 at the time. And he's been on his own since then."

"God," Jane took another drink. "Brave kid. He's lucky to have someone like you looking out for him."

"Travel with us," Maura said out of the blue.

"What?" Jane coughed on the whisky.

"_Travel with us…_Leo and I. We need an extra set of hands and you seem more experienced with these things then I do. I'll pay you…and since you're going the same way…we could keep each other company."

"You don't even know me Maura," Jane shook her head smiling.

"I know you saved Leo," Maura answered. "That makes you more important than anyone else here."

"I'll travel with you," Jane nodded. "But I won't let you pay me."

"Please…"

"Take it or leave it," Jane said smiling holding her hand out.

"Deal," Maura nodded. "But you're at least letting us feed you."

"After that meal," Jane laughed, "tryto not feed me." Maura burst out laughing as Jane reached over and tossed another log on her smile fire. Well…now theirs.

xxxx

_May 3, 1859_

_I spent the better part of the morning discussing horses with Jane. She is quite the charmer. Leo has been quite taken with Opal and Palmers daughter Nina. Love certainly appears to be in the air for almost everyone, everyone but me that is. Jane teases me about Jonathan most often every day. She seems to think he is taken with me, but I do believe it to be nothing more than friendship, although part of me wonders sometimes. He brought me flowers today. They were nothing more than simple prairie wild flowers…yet I found the gesture most sweet if not desirable. For some reason…Jane who had enjoyed teasing me these past few weeks became quite silent and left me alone for a good part of the night. Perhaps she liked Jonathan as well? I would never want to do anything that would or could hurt the friend I've come to find in her._

xxxxxxx

"These are for you," Jonathan smiled and handed the flowers to Maura. Maura took them and smiled. "Wild and beautiful…like you." He lowered his head.

Jane watched and listened to the exchange. She couldn't help but roll her eyes feeling jealousy rise up in her. She quickly pushed those thoughts aside knowing Maura had no interest in women…let alone her. She put down the axe she had been using to cut wood and walked off over the hill.

"I need some air," Jane mumbled.

Maura looked up to see Jane depart. "Jane," Maura called after her. But Jane did not turn around.

"Let her go," Jonathan smiled. "It's you and I tonight…"

"Ah Jonathan," Maura pulled back. "I fear I may have given you the wrong idea."

"And what would that be?"

"That I have an interest in us as anything more than friends."

"Maura," Jonathan shook his head. "I can offer you support, comfort, and a home…plus be a father to Leo. Not many men would look past your relationship, consider taking him in as their own kin."

"Excuse me," Maura pulled back.

"Your wild past offers no interest to me Maura," Jonathan smiled and moved to kiss Maura. "It's here and now that interests me."

"Don't touch me," Maura went to pull away from his hold.

"Don't fight it Maura…I know you want me as much as I want you…"

"No Jonathan," Maura shook his head. "Please leave…"

"Maura," Jonathan shook his head. "Come on now…"

"I believe the lady asked you to leave," came the cold even tone of Jane who stood near the two now.

"Jane," Maura looked up relived to see her friend. "Jonathan was just leaving…"

"Bye Jonathan," Jane smiled though inside she was resisting tossing a fist in his face. She'd heard the comment he'd made about Leo. Anyone would be lucky to have a boy like Leo in their life regardless of how he came to be part of it.

"Maura…"

"Goodbye," Jane said again this time with a warning laced in. Jonathan looked up at Jane to see she had her hand resting on her hip, near her gun.

"Goodnight," Jonathan nodded looking at the women and leaving.

Maura broke down into tears when he had finally left. Jane watched her for just a second before she sat down next to the woman and held her close. "It's okay," she comforted her friend. "Shhh."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," Maura smiled as Jane came into the wagon laying next to her. "How are you?"

"Good," Jane smiled removing her shirt. "Tired but good." Maura watched, not aware she was starring, as Jane removed her top and removing her pants too. Sharing a bed in the wagon was common sense, but Maura wasn't used to sharing a bed with anyone. But seeing Jane, her tan skin and defined muscles drew Maura in. Jane glanced down and locked eyes with Maura who quickly turned her head to the side.

"So…tomorrow will be long for us all."

"Yeah," Jane nodded. She bit her bottom lip. "I have something for you."

"What?" Maura asked smiling. Jane went to her pack and pulled out a small wrapped package. "I got it at the last town we stopped in. I didn't…well I knew you needed it but would put Leo's needs first," Jane smiled.

Maura took the package from her hand. "you bought me a gift?"

"It's not a big deal," Jane smiled as Maura opened the packed lifting up the small garment.

"It's beautiful," Maura breathed out noting the small delicate weaving and soft fabric. Maura loved Silk!

"It's silk," Jane smiled. "Supposed to feel wonderful on your skin."

"This is wonderful," Maura smiled and hugged Jane intimately. "Thank you."

"Your…your welcome," Jane stuttered feeling the rush from Maura's touch. She swallowed down the gulp that had formed in her throat.

Maura had never felt the urge to kiss anyone they way she wondered what it would be like to just kiss Jane. She had feared her ability to be attracted to someone was forever ruined because of her own self insecurities…but something about Jane changed that in her. Maura lowered her eyes and looked at Jane's lips thinking how easy it would be to kiss them. She slowly lowered her head, closing her eyes…

BANG

Startled, both women jumped back. "Stay here," Jane said pushing Maura down. More shots rang out.

"What's going on?" Maura asked nervous. "God…Leo…"

"I'll go," Jane pushed Maura back down again. Before Maura had the chance to argue, Jane jumped out looking for Leo's small tent on the side of the wagon. She knew he'd be up and wondering what was happening.

"Leo," Jane shouted. "get down."

Leo lowered himself to the ground as men in horses and masks began firing randomly at anything they say. Jane noticed one of them taking aim at Leo's huddled form.

"No!" she shouted as she rushed the small boy and scooped him up in her arms. Maura watched on in horror as she saw Jane stumble slightly but just as quickly recovered and continued to move Leo to safety. She went to grab for her gun and quickly realized she'd left it in the wagon.

The men in other wagons had now emerged and took aim with their guns. It happened within seconds and was over within minutes.

Jane hid behind the large wheel, wrapping herself around the small boy. Maura approached them. "Leo…thank God," she cried as she took the small boy in her arms. She looked down to see Jane move slowly and get up.

"He's okay," Jane nodded. "A bit shaken…like the buffalo…" she stepped forward and suddenly without warning fell to her knees. "Maura…" she whispered, locking eyes with the young woman who quickly realized the full extent of Jane's stumble moments before.

"Jane!" Maura reached down. "Leo get my bag in the wagon!" She now saw the circle of red blood that was seeping down the back of Jane's shirt.

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	4. I Put my Pants on the Same Way as You

A/N: Thank you for all the new people following this story. Your support is greatly appreciated.

xxxxx

_May the 29th 1859_

_Jane is still unconscious. She has not woken in five days. She lost a lot of blood. I pray with each passing second she opens her eyes again. Leo hardly leaves her side, feeling responsible. I try to tell him not to blame himself but he is a child and doesn't fully understand things like this….or maybe he does?_

xxxxxx

"Hey," Maura said softly to the still Jane who slept. Maura picked up a wet cloth and wiped Jane's brow. "You need to wake up soon Jane. You're scaring Leo," Maura whispered as her voice cracked. "Wake up for him…for him and for me," Maura said almost childlike.

"Maura," Leo said coming into the wagon. "The others are looking for you. They need to discuss something about the trails."

"Okay," Maura nodded. She turned her eyes to Leo. "Can you watch over her like a man?"

"Yes."

"Good," Maura nodded trying to give him a sense of reasonability hoping it would levitate the guilt he was feeling. "I'll be back soon. Just pat this on her head every once in awhile."

"Okay," Leo nodded.

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"I'm saying we won't make it before winter comes," one of the men shouted. Most of the women stood silently in the back not getting involved in the discussion. Maura, however traveling without a husband, wanted her say equally.

"Why do you believe this Jonathan?" Maura asked.

"I've seen the signs. Our best and safest bet will be to lay over at a town we come too…wait it out for the winter and then start again in the spring."

"It seems too far away though for us to worry about," Mr. Adams spoke up.

"We've not even traveled a fraction of the distance. All I'm saying is that when the time comes we'll need to consider it."

"That's a whole year Jonathan," Mr. Adams spoke up again..

"What would be do in this town?" Maura asked.

"Make the best of what we have…This is out our only option people. I would not suggest it if I didn't feel it the right thing. I know waiting an extra year is the one thing we don't want…but we have no choice."

"We agree with Jonathan," Mr. Eddie said as his wife held his arm. Maura looked down and saw their connection. It brought the briefest smile to her face. Mr. Eddie's and Mary held such a sweet and unbreakable bond. It was quite charming.

"I agree too then," Maura nodded. "I will wait a few months if it means making it there safe and sound."

"Okay then," Mr. Adam's nodded. "We stop wait when the times comes."

xxxxxxx

It was two more days of traveling. "No infections," Maura looked at Leo. "She's going to be okay."

"Thanks to you," Leo said hugging the woman.

It was the night of the seventh day that Jane finally opened her eyes. "Maura," she whispered.

"Thank you God," Maura said holding Jane's hand close to her. "Jane…come back to me please."

"Leo?"

"He's fine…thanks to you."

"How long?"

"Seven days," Maura smiled.

"You okay too?"

"I'm fine," Maura said softly and wiped the tears that were falling.

"Good," Jane smiled, her eyes still closed. "I'm tired. I'm going to rest for just a bit okay?"

"Okay," Maura said as she lowered her lips to Jane's forehead which for the first time was not burning up. She left a soft kiss there. "For you to wake up too…"

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_June 9th, 1859_

_Jane, Leo and I took a walk this evening to watch the sun set. It was just breathtaking. None of us spoke, not even Leo, who was full of questions moments before. He sat by Jane's lap, holding her hand. There are times I look at them together and believe they could perhaps indeed be angels fallen from the heavens. Jane has admitted to me that her experience with children is limited, but I find them so uplifting to my soul. Perhaps it is at times like this while here with my Leo and Jane… I've grown to love them more then I imagined though no words have been exchanged between us about the subject, that I miss my own parents so much that my need for family is growing greater by the minute. Yet I wonder if I shall be alone for the rest of my life, and if so, is that what I want? I feel the need now to also consider what is best for Leo. It's not just about what I want and need. What I love. It's about his needs as well_

_We met Indians on the trail today. These natives were amazing in both skill and craft. This was quite the experience. For the first time, I do believe I saw fear in Jonathan's eyes however. It was quite clear to me that they meant us no more harm. I traded wheat for a knife. It is breath-taking weapon, hand carved and like nothing I've ever seen before. I wanted to get something special for Jane. It's silver and gold and woven with a liner near the palm. After trade amongst some of the others, we went on our way._

xxxxxxx

"How's your shoulder?" Maura asked Jane as they lay atop the hill under the tree watching Leo play about twenty yards away from them.

"Much better," Jane smiled. "I really should thank you for taking such good care of me," she nodded.

"Well I did the best I could."

"You were amazing. Why aren't you practicing medicine Maura? You out skill almost any doctor I've met and are a heck of a lot prettier too," Jane smiled. Maura went to deny it but stopped. She just smiled.

"I got something for you."

"You did?"

"Close your eyes," Maura asked. Jane closed her eyes as the trace of a smile outlined her features. Maura just watched for a single second, taking in the peacefulness she felt and ease she relished while with Jane. Maura placed the box in her hand.

"Okay open them."

"Maura…" Jane looked down and saw the small box. It had the initials JR engraved in it.

"The box I made…with Leo's help of course," she smiled. "Those are you initials. And…well open it."

Jane opened the box and saw the knife. "Oh my…it's beautiful," Jane whispered. "Where on earth did you get it?"

"I traded some wheat with the natives."

"This is a Cherokee knife," Jane smiled. "Maura this is amazing. This is…this is the nicest thing I've ever gotten."

"Good…well I mean…good I'm glad you liked it."

"I love it," Jane smiled and hugged Maura. Maura closed her eyes and just relished in the closeness they shared. Jane held on…not letting go. "Maura…"

"I know," Maura nodded and pulled back her eyes darting back and forth. "Will you stay on with us when winter approaches?"

"Yes," Jane nodded. "If that is the choice you and the rest have made…I'll support it."

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_June 19th 1859_

_Jane saved my life today. Had it not been for her quick hands, and fast reflexes, I surly would have perished beneath the wheels of a wagon. While I do not believe that I will live forever, I should hope that the lord would have a better way for me to go then beneath the wheels of a wagon and oxen hoof. I had been grooming my horse during a break this afternoon. Apparently she took a spook from something or someone. I ran after her, only to trip in front of one of the moving wagon. I felt myself rising to move, but knew it could not be quick enough. My dress was in the way. Jane, like the wind, grabbed and pulled me forward. We fell, landing with her on top of me. For a split second I looked into her eyes and saw love. But it disappeared as quickly as it appeared, hidden behind a mask of some sort. Jane has many masks._

_I made a note to buy pants at the next stop. They may not be the most lady-like of all things, but I refuse to wear a dress on this trail any longer. I find it absolutely ridiculous that such expectations be made. I for one am done with them, and any other expectations. I am my own person. After all…Jane wears them and she looks quite comfortable in them. But there is talk of Jane…talk of her actions. I choose to ignore them and not get caught up in gossip…but they refer to her as a sinner. I'm not sure why?_


	5. A Dance and a Kiss

_July 2 1859_

_Hot today. My new pants made for a far more comfortable ride however. I paid more than fair price for them. Jane only smiled. Although she says nothing, I think she likes them on me. Leo laughed at me for not wearing them sooner._

xxxxx

"What are you making?" Maura asked Jane.

"A bow for Leo."

"Jane…" Maura began hesitantly.

"Maura the other boys have them and are playing with them. It's a harmless weapon so long as he is taught to use it properly. I promise to teach him." Jane smiled. She enjoyed doing things for Leo. He was a good boy.

"Yes but…" Maura paused and shook her head.

"What?" Jane smiled looking up from the fire.

"Shouldn't one of the men…wouldn't one of the men be more suited for that?" Maura asked. Jane's smile faded and she lowered her eyes to the fire. "I just mean…I know you're suited for this…but wouldn't it make more sense to let a man…"

"Where is this coming from?" Jane asked even, distant and almost cold not looking at Maura.

"Nowhere…had I thought…"

"You thought what Maura?" Jane asked raising her voice slightly. "I should be more ladylike? Is that it?"

"Jane," Maura laughed nervously. "You have to admit people have a point…"

"When they gossip about me?" Jane asked shaking her head standing. "Gossiping about the way I act, the way I dress…how I'm not lady enough…how they think I'm perverted?" Jane looked like someone had punched her in the gut. Maura had never seen such devastation on her friends face.

'Oh God,' she thought. 'I put it there.'

"Please…calm down Jane I didn't mean to upset you."

"The same people who talk about you…and Leo…" Jane began pacing. "The same people I defend you to…defend Leo to," Jane stopped in her tracks. "People will always find something wrong with those who are not like them…I can't believe you bought into it." Jane walked away.

Maura began crying. "Where are you going Jane?"

"For a walk," Jane answered without turning around.

"Please…I'm sorry…"

"So am I," Jane replied. The double meaning not lost of her friend. "I thought you were different than them."

xxxxxx

_July 4th 1859_

_Celebrated Independence Day this evening. The children danced, the men and women sang. I told stories by the fire, and captured quite the audience. Jane hasn't spoken to me since the other night. I can see the hurt in her eyes when she looks at me. And it kills me to know I put it there._

_Jonathan came to me this evening, asking me to go for a walk, before the festivities began. I know he feels guilty for the fight we had and he has been attempting to make it up to me each day. I have forgiven him. We went up past the creek, and sat near a stream. It was quite the Mauraent. Asking for permission to hold my hand, I only nodded, fearing what others have said if I did not. I know there has been talk of Jane and I…being together._

_xxxxxxx_

"Will you marry me," Leo asked Jane seriously. "I want you to stay with us forever." Jane smiled down at the young boy.

"You're adorable you know that," she smiled. She kissed his head.

"Why can't I stay up with you guys and dance?" Leo asked.

"It's for the grownups only," Jane answered and tucked him into his blanket bed.

"Are you and Maura going to dance?"

"No," Jane shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Cause…it's not right…" Jane struggled to get the sentence out.

"That's silly. I know you love Maura. Maura loves you too," Leo shook his head. "You adults make it so complicated."

"Complicated," Jane smiled. "That's a big word for you."

"Night Jane."

"Night Leo."

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Jane walked out and saw Jonathan and Maura walking away hand in hand. She shook her head. "You want lady like…" she mumbled and walked off to Mr. Thomas and his wives wagon. The couple, next to Maura, were the closest Jane had come to as other family in the group. Mr. Thomas treated Jane as an equal, as did Mrs. Thomas. Since the day Jane saved Leo's life, they'd been nothing but thankful she'd joined their group.

"Hi Jane," Mrs. Thomas smiled extending his hand to the woman.

"I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything," Mrs. Thomas smiled approaching Jane from the side with a smile on from ear to ear.

"I was hoping you'd say that…"

xxxxxxxxxx

Maura stood alongside all of the men and women as the dance was beginning. She kept looking for Jane but couldn't find her anywhere. "Maura…would you like to dance?" Jonathan asked.

"I guess," Maura nodded as she made her way to the middle dance area. The song was fast but it ended as a slow song began. She went to pull away when Jonathan smiled. "Once more dance," he said.

Maura began to dance with him. She glanced over. Someone certainly seemed to be getting the attention of the young men around the fire. Both Maura and Jonathan slowed their dance to an almost stop. "Who is that?" Jonathan asked pointing to the woman that could barely been seen.

"I have no idea," Maura shrugged. She went to turn her attention back to the dance when she caught her breath. "Jane…" the word slipped off her tongue as she felt herself taken back by the shock of seeing…this new Jane. She felt hit with a jolt of…passion…desire. 'God…' she breathed out.

xxxxxxxxx

Jane walked past the men who were now ogling her. "Jane," Maura left Jonathan's side and approached her friend. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a dance," Jane smiled. Maura couldn't stop starring. Jane's hair was long and curly at the ends; she wore make-up and a dress that matched her eyes perfectly. In simple words, she looked breathtaking.

"I know it's a dance," Maura said trying to find her own words. "Why are you dressed like…that?"

"Just taking your advice," Jane smiled and walked past Maura and into the arms of Grant, a young single man who had been traveling with them.

"You look beautiful Jane," Grant smiled. He and Jane had become closer over the weeks as well.

"Come on Maura…our dance," Jonathan said pulling Maura away.

"Jane…" but Jane didn't turn around she went to dancing with Grant again. Maura had never been so jealous in her life.

"What's wrong with me?" she shook her head as she stole glances at Jane and the various men she danced with…and…flirted with.

"You're perfect," Jonathan smiled as he went to kiss her.

"Jonathan I said no," Maura pulled out of the dancing embrace.

"You're a tease!" Jonathan shouted as heads spun around watching them.

"Stop it," Maura begged hoping to avoid attention. She looked up and saw Jane who was approaching them.

"No you stop it you whore…you think people don't know! People talk about you Maura! Both you and Leo! Here I was giving you a chance…but you were using me!"

"Shut the hell up Jonathan!" Jane cursed as she approached the scene and pushed Jonathan back.

"Oh…and it keeps getting better and better!" Jonathan said looking at the two of them standing side by side. "The whore and the pervert!"

Jane was about to say something when she saw Jonathan stumble back…unconscious. She looked at Maura who still had her fist clenched from where she had struck him. "If anyone else here has a problem with Jane- feel free to speak up now!" she shouted as tears ran down her face. People just watched on in awe and shook their heads holding their hands up.

"Come on," Jane took Maura's hand and led her back to the wagon.

"I'm sorry…so sorry for what I said to you the other day. I had no right…"

"Don't you worry about that," Jane smiled. "Let me get a look at that hand," she said taking Maura's hand in her own. "That was quite the left hook Dr. Isles."

"Thanks," Maura smiled.

Music could be heard playing again in the background. Maura felt her heart flutter as she looked down, seeing Jane holding her hand, taking such sweet care of her.

"Dance with me," she whispered.

Jane looked up confused at first. "What?" she asked slightly shocked.

"Dance with me," Maura said again, standing this time. She moved in close to Jane. "No one is here Jane…just you and me. Dance with me," she said her eyes closed, lowering her head to Jane's shoulder. "I just want you to hold me for a dance Jane. Just a dance please."

"I can do that," Jane whispered and held her in her arms as they swayed to the music.

From inside the small tent, Leo peeked his head out and smiled. "See…not so complicated," he whispered to no one. He decided to give his Maura and Jane some privacy.

xxxxxxx

_August 28th 1859_

_Mr. Martin's wife, passed way last night in her sleep. She was a good woman, with a good heart. There is no doubt in my mind that she is now resting safe in the arms of heaven. She had a heart attack. My father had an attack like this once as well, but did not perish. He was bed ridden for quite some time though._

_Ran into a few travels today. Did some trading, and exchanged some mail. The sky was pink this evening, creating a beautiful canvas on colors in the sky for all to see. I can't help but wonder if Mrs. Martin had anything to do with this. Her husband loves the sunset._

xxxxxxxx

"Hey," Jane said sitting down next to Maura and handing her a coffee. "How you feeling?"

"Okay," Maura sighed. "I feel like we've lost so many so far, and we've only just begun."

"You know she came up to me about two weeks ago and told me not to listen to what others might say."

"She did?"

"yeah," Jane smiled thinking back to the moment. "She hugged me and told me I should love who I love and be a good person. That would be good enough for her…and good enough for me."

"Coming from her too," Maura smiled. "That must have meant a lot."

"It did," Jane nodded. "I try not to listen to people…but when she said that. I felt like she was giving me her blessing and for some reason…it felt right."

"So…Jane…then you do prefer…"

"Women," Jane nodded. "Yes."

"How long have you known?"

"Always," Jane smiled. "I can't put an exact date on it. But it's always been there in some way."

"Is it hard?"

"Hard being this way?" Jane smiled. "No…it's hard trying to love and be loved. It's hard hoping you don't fall for the wrong person. It's hard trying not to let the negative things people say get me down."

"Have I told you how amazing I think you are?" Maura asked.

Jane reached out and took Maura's hand. "Me? Look at you," she paused. "You're out here…doing this amazing journey…alone, taking on a boy who is only 10 as your own. Not many women would undertake this challenge you know?"

"You think?"

"I know," Jane smiled and put her arm around Maura's shoulder, pulling her close.

"You're not bothered by my independence?"

"How could you even ask me that?" Jane said. "I think you and Leo are the most amazing people I know. I thank God every day for bringing me into your lives. I consider myself lucky."

"We're the lucky ones Jane…we're the lucky ones."

xxxxxxx


	6. Dirty Enough For You?

Xxxx

August 31st 1859

It's been a few days since I last wrote. My heart feels heavy, for we lost another to travel. His death was not brought on however by a sickness, or failing health. It was brought on by heroism. I stayed by the grave for many hours. I know Jane was concerned, but she understood. He, like Jane, had taken me under his wing, watching out for both Leo and I.

There was an attack by raiders a few days. Men, and I use the term lightly, attacked our group. Some of us had weapons and were able to holds them off, in the end, sending the few that still lived fleeing the scene. Though I feel badly, for there isn't a second that goes by that I don't thank God for not taking Jane from me. She has come to mean more to me then anyone…other then Leo.

He came to us, Jane and I, during the attack. Knowing this was the place he would be needed most, especially with the Leo. He saw my side arm and asked if I knew how to use it. I could only nod. Those were the last words we spoke. Had I known that then, I am sure I could have come up with more than a nod for him. We returned fire. I hit two men. One was killed, and the other rode off wounded. I returned my attention back to the people I was with. It was only then that I saw Jane holding his head in her lap. His eyes were open, but he did not move. He did not breath. He did not tell me he was okay. He did not say goodbye. I hung my head and began to cry, and did not stop till a few hours ago. As a doctor I knew that vacant stare all too well. It makes me think of my parents death. I did not get to say goodbye to them either.

I remember when Jane was shot…god I feared I would lose her without saying how much I truly love…

xxxxxxx

"Hey," Jane said softly interrupting Maura's journal writing.

"Hi," Maura answered softly.

"Maura the words you said this afternoon on his behave, They were true and honest and sweet and I do believe he was smiling down on us from heaven," Jane whispered as she took a seat next to Maura.

"Thank you," Maura said but her guilt began to wash over her. She began to cry freely now.

"What is it Maura?" Jane asked taking her friend into her arms and holding her close.

"I feel so bad for my thoughts," Maura said looking into Jane's eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

"When…after the attack…when I saw you two…and how it was him that had been shot and not you- I was relieved. I actually thanked God. Doesn't that make me an awful person?"

"No," Jane shook her head. "It makes you human. It was just a reaction Maura. You can't control it anymore then you could a knee jerk."

"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Would I do that?" Jane asked softly tucking Maura's stray hair behind her ear.

"Yes," Maura nodded and smiled.

xxxxxxxxxx

September the 9th 1859

We rode hard yet again. My body is tired. I do fear I won't be able to go on. I feel worse with each passing day. I know something is not right with my body, but my symptoms confuse me. I find it difficult to focus. Jane has had to pick up more chores, aside from the few Leo do, Jane now is doing everything.

xxxxxxxxx

September 19th 1859

Mr. and Mrs. Grandmoth are the proud parents of a healthy baby boy. For the first time ever, I delivered a life into this world. Handing him his new son. He cried. I cried. We were quite the emotional group.

xxxxxx

"How are you feeling?" Jane asked handing Maura soup.

"Better," Maura answered honestly. "Thank you for letting me nap."

"After that delivery you earned it," Jane smiled.

"I think she deserves the credit," Maura smiled back.

"I love this," Jane said softly tossing wood on the fire and looking up to the dark night sky.

"What?"

"This ease we have with one another," Jane said glancing back to Maura.

"I know. Me too," Maura nodded. "Jane do you ever wish you could have children?"

"You mean now?" Jane asked.

"Now…later," Maura waved her hand. "Either way."

"I've thought about it, yes."

"I think you'd make a wonderful mother."

"Well coming from such an amazing mother- I say thank you for the compliment."

"You're wonderful with Leo."

"It's hard not to be. He's an amazing kid."

"He adores you."

"I know," Jane smiled. "Maura…what are you getting at?"

"If something ever were to happen to me…Leo…he has no one else other then you. I want to know…well what I'm asking is that if something ever happened to me I'd like you to take care of Leo and raise him."

Jane just watched Maura, her jaw dropping. "Are you trying to tell me something?" she asked worried.

"No," Maura shook her head.

"You sure?"

"Yes," Maura nodded.

"Well in that case…I'd be honored to be the second in command," Jane smiled.

"Second in command?"

"Yeah…we'll have rankings. You're the General. I get second in command."

Maura laughed and squeezed Jane's hand. "I love you Jane."

"I love you too Maura."

xxxxxxx

Jane laughed as she saw the dust come off her clothes. "God…I'm filthy," she smiled looking at Leo.

"You sure are," Leo pointed and laughed.

"You know…how about we go to the lake…wash up?" Maura suggested.

"Maura…I was planning on eating with Bobby and his folks tonight. Is that okay?" Leo asked. He did have ulterior motives. He wanted his Maura and Jane to spend as much alone time together as two people could.

"Did they ask you?" Maura questioned Leo.

"Yes Mom. Can I?"

"Sure…bring some potatoes too as an offer."

"Yes Maura," Leo smiled. "Have fun bathing. Jane,try not to get the lake too dirty," he winked at his friend who swatted at him.

"Get out of here," she laughed smacking his rear.

Soap and towels in hand…Jane and Maura took off on horse to find the lake. Maura knew it was about an hour ride south west. Jane smiled…knowing that the lake would most likely be empty and quiet.

"I can't recall the last time I actually soaked in a body of water," Jane laughed as she looked in Maura's direction.

"Me either," Maura smiled back. "Last time I had a bath…a real bath…must have been…God…I can't even remember."

"I can actually feel the dirt on me…how awful is that?" Jane laughed.

"I thought you liked that stuff," Maura snickered at her friend. "You know…a real woman…dirt of the earth."

"Real woman yes…dirty woman…no," Jane winked.

"Ah I see the difference," Maura smiled.

"I think I see it," Jane pointed. "Up on the left."

"Wow," Maura smiled. "I can feel myself getting cleaner by the moment…I'm glad I brought some clothes to wash too."

"You brought laundry?" Jane said noticing for the first time the bag of clothes hanging at Maura's side.

"Yes…and don't worry. I grabbed some of yours too. I figure…we should take full advantage of the water while we have it."

"Good thinking," Jane smiled.

"Wipe that smirk off your face Jane Rizzoli. I brought your clothes…I didn't say I'd wash them," Maura laughed. Jane joined her.

"Damn. Well you can't blame a woman for trying."

Maura and Jane stood at the lakes edge. "Well…time for a swim," Jane smiled as she began to disrobe. Maura watched for a moment…caught up in seeing Jane undress. Jane paused and noticed Maura was not moving.

"You were going in with your clothes on?" Jane asked curious.

"No."

"Oh," Jane said as she removed her pants. She was left now only in her underwear and shirt. "Maura?"

"Huh?"

"Do I have something on me?"

"No."

"Why are you starring?" Jane smirked. "You're making me…nervous."

"Sorry," Maura felt the blush creep up her cheek. She didn't mean to stare. In fact…she wasn't even aware she had been starring. "I…"

"Last one in is a rotten egg," Jane teased and tossed her shirt at Maura's head. A naked Jane flashed past Maura and ran into the water…splashing the whole way. Maura…now fully aware of her, quickly undressed. She wanted to get in as soon as she could. For some reason…being naked in front of Jane suddenly made her very self-conscious.

xxxxxx

"Hey," Jane laughed as she swam near her friend. "You hogging the soap?"

"No," Maura laughed. "here." Maura handed it. "I just wanted to use some before you went and dirtied it up." She burst out laughing as Jane splashed her.

"Can you wash my back for me," Jane asked standing and turned around. Maura moved closer and began to lather up Jane's back.

"You really are dirty," Maura smiled.

"Thanks," Jane rolled her eyes. "You try steering cattle all day and not wear four layers of dirt."

"No thanks."

"Do you want me to do you?" Jane asked.

"Huh?" Maura's mind was suddenly in a very wrong place and her friend was in it with her.

"Your back…you want me to get yours?"

"Oh…yes. Thanks," Maura smiled and turned. She could feel Jane…so close. So near. She closed her eyes and just enjoyed Jane's touch. It was nice. It was soft. It was…loving.

"Well…look here boys," came the deep throaty voice of a man. "We gone and found ourselves a peep show."

Jane immediately moved herself in front of Maura, blocking any view the men from the shore might have of them.

"Who the hell are you?" Jane asked.

"Just friendly…passer Byers. Don't mind us. Please…carry on with your bath." He smiled and spit.

"We have more people in our party…they'll be here any minute," Jane said knowing how that this wasn't the smartest situation for her and Maura to have gotten into.

xxxxxxxx

"Now don't go getting your panties in a twist," he laughed. "Not that you're wearing any. I'm just teasing you lady."

"Well you're making my friend and I uncomfortable so stop it," Jane warned.

"You're feisty," he laughed. "The names Kid. You are?"

"Rizzoli."

"Rizzoli…" he was running the name over and over in his mind. "Sound familiar."

"I doubt it," she shook her head.

"You two new to this part?"

"Passin'," Jane answered. She didn't take her eyes off the two men on their horses behind the kid.

"Oh you with that wagon party back over the ridge?"

"Yes," Jane nodded again.

"Well…we won't keep you from bath time," he smirked. "Enjoy the night ladies. Keep in mind there are a lot of strange people out here." He got off his horse and approached the pile of clothes. Jane began to move. She didn't care how naked she was.

"Here," he tossed Jane the gun. "Never let you side arm get that far away from you. Out here…could mean life or death." He got back on his horse. "Ladies." He smiled and rode off.

"God," Maura breathed out once she saw they were gone.

"I'm sorry," Jane shook her head. "I never should have let them get that close. I should have heard them. I should have been more aware. I should have…"

"Jane," Maura cut her off. "Nothing happened. It's okay. Besides…you can't take care of me all the time. You're not responsible for me…"

"I know that," Jane said slightly defensive. "I was just…I just meant…"

"I know," Maura nodded. And that was the truth. She did know. She did understand. If anything ever happened to Jane because of her or vice versa it would tear her up inside. Maura paused and felt the sudden guilt wash over her as she noticed the scar on Jane's side. "I know all too well."

Jane followed Maura's eyes to the scar on her side. "Maura. You need to stop blaming yourself for this. You didn't attack us. You didn't shoot me."

"But it's because of Leo and me that you put yourself in danger. You're always putting yourself in danger Jane."

"I'm here because I choose to be Maura," Jane said sternly. "Not because I have to be."

"But…"

"Please," Jane held her hand up. "No more okay? We could go round and round and not agree."

Maura nodded. "You know…you rode in my life on a horse and a silver lining. You didn't just save Leo that day Jane…God knows, in some day, you saved me too. Thank you."

"You have no idea how backwards you have that," Jane said sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Someday," Jane said softly. "Someday I'll tell you." Maura nodded and decided not to push it anymore. "Come on. Let's get these clothes washed and get out of here."

"Yes Sir," Maura saluted and smiled. Jane kicked water at her.

"Hold there. I'll get you a towel."

"Thanks," Maura smiled sweetly.

"Well I feel cleaner…and a whole of a hell lot prettier," Jane laughed.

"You're lucky though," Maura answered riding behind Jane. "You're one of those lucky women who have natural beauty."

"Right," Jane snickered. "Maura there is nothing beautiful about me. At least that is what some people may say."

"Don't," Maura said half serious half joking. "Don't fool about things like that."

"Like what?"

"You…being…you."

"Gay?"

"Yes."

"Well darling I am," Jane said glancing behind her. She was having a hard time…the feeling of Maura's legs wrapped so closely around her and swaying with each step of the horse.

"You're the most beautiful amazing person…woman I know."

"Maura."

"I mean it," Maura answered softly. She leaned forward and slowly kissed Jane's cheek. "And I love you for it more and more each day." Jane was silent for a moment.

"Thank you." Maura reached her hands up and placed them gently around Jane's waist as she gently lay her head on Jane's shoulder.

"I feel safer with you then anyone Jane. It's been a long time…that I've felt safe."

Jane reached down and placed on hand over Maura's own. The other steered the horse. Jane smiled as the warmth that spread from the love Maura had given to her.

xxxxx


	7. Jane!

Jane woke with a shiver that ran down her back. Her nightmares were becoming more real with each passing day she fell more in love with Maura. No…real wasn't the word. Vivid would be more like it. She slowly and quietly exited the wagon. She saw Leo's tent set up and made sure he was sleeping okay. Jane felt a small smile creep across her face seeing the young boy snoring. She made her way to where their fire's ashes were still glowing from the night. Sitting down she gently placed a small log on it, watching it catch as the ambers began to eat away at the wood, making the glow brighter with each passing second.

_"You can't run from your past when you don't remember it," Jane whispered to no one. She closed her eyes…_

_"Rizzoli," he said. "How on earth are you supposed to find those men up there in the mountains? They could be anywhere." The young man looked at Jane as Jane stopped and checked her gun. "They're probably more likely to find you than you are to find them." As soon he said the words to Jane he regretted it. She looked at him. Vocalizing his fears just made them more real. Jane knew he was scared._

_"I'll be okay Dean," she said softly. "You know I've got to do this."_

_"I know you loved her Jane. Hell we all did," Dean began to pace. "But this is just suicide."_

_"Macleod and his men have only been in this area for a couple of months -I've been here for more than twenty-two years. I was playing cops and robbers in these mountain waters my whole life." Jane watched as her friends worry grew. She grabbed her riffle and secured it to her horse._

_"Dean if somebody wanted to hide I know where it would be."_

_"Jane…I…I love you," Dean said pulling Jane to him slowly. "Please don't do this. Stay here with me. Build a life with me. You're the best friend I've ever had…"_

_Jane watched his face and her heart fell slightly. It was true, he was the best friend she'd ever had…but her heart did not belong to him. Now that she was gone…a part of Jane was gone too. Jane hugged her friend and got on her horse. "Goodbye Dean. You take care of yourself okay?"_

_"Will you come back?"_

_"I don't know," Jane answered honestly. "Maybe…someday."_

_Jane had ridden for hours. Her eyes looked from one side of the trail to the other. Jane was certain Macleod was waiting for her somewhere. He knew she'd be coming. After all…this was about her. He only made her a part of it when he knew she'd been playing the game without her knowledge._

_Her mind was drawn back once more to the cabin two weeks ago. She had tried to keep that night, and Macleod, out of her head but it seemed hopeless. Jane loved her…and she died because of it. They were to meet…for a friendly dinner…nothing more. Jane rode up the hillside approaching her families cabin. Something wasn't right and Jane knew it instantly. She could smell the smoke…smell the death. "Jesus…" Jane rode as fast and hard as she could…dismounting even though her horse had not stopped. She approached the cabin to see Macleod calling card…the burning cross._

_"No!" Jane tried to run into the house…but it was too hot. The flames shot out, wrapping themselves around the wood frame. Within seconds, the cabin no longer stood._

_Jane had immediately started to realize no one would put the time or effort into finding the killers of a black family. No one cared sadly. The hate that coursed through Jane that day was unlike no other she had known. The townspeople, who loved the family deeply sought the justice they deserved…but the sheriff and his deputies were on Macleod's payroll. There would be no legal justice. So Jane had decided to take it into her own hands._

_After the sun fell, Jane made camp. "You keep riding Macleod. No matter how far…no matter how long. I will find you."_

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey," the soft voice startled Jane as she snapped out of her day dream. She looked up to see Maura. "you okay?"

"Oh hi," Jane said nodding. "yeah."

"Bad dreams again?"

"Yeah," Jane nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" Maura asked sensing the pull within Jane. The inner conflict.

"Actually," Jane said softly. "I do. I think there are some things you should know Maura."

xxxxxxxxx

"What happened?" Maura asked reaching for Jane's hand.

"I can't remember," Jane looked up after a pause.

"Anything?"

"Just what I told you. I lost time. Months…"

"When did this happen?"

"When I woke up…and remembered the events leading to that night it had been more than four months."

"Four months? Who took care of you?"

"A missionary nun," Jane smiled looking up toward the heavens. "Someone was looking out for me that day."

"Where did she find you?"

"Riverside," Jane said. "I was unconscious. Slept for those months. She fed me, bathed me, and watched over me night and day. I never thought I'd be able to repay her for what she and the others did. But she told me I had a special purpose."

Maura smiled. "I believe it," Maura said becoming more serious.

"Maybe," Jane waved it off.

"Jane because of Leo's alive. Because of you…we're both alive. If you had…if you had not come along when you did. I don't think we'd have made it on our own. Don't you see…you've touched so many lives since you joined us. You're our special purpose…"

"Maura," Jane said the name so softly. She leaned forward and gently brought her lips to Maura's own. Maura, slightly startled yet equally aroused drew in a quick breath. She allowed the kiss…because she knew on some level she wanted it as badly as Jane had. But a voice within her head caused her alarm. Quickly she pulled back. Her eyes shot open as she noticed the look of concern on Jane's face. Maura opened her mouth to say something…anything. She knew Jane was waiting for it. Her face wore an expression on pain…and longing. Maura willed her mind to think of something…anything.

But nothing came out.

"I'm sorry," Jane said finally and standing. "It's late. We should get to sleep. I'll…I'll see you inside." Jane moved quickly to the wagon and slipped into her covers. She rolled on her side and did not turn around when Maura came in and lay beside her. Maura slowly reached her hand out…it almost touched Jane…but as though heat from Jane's skin burnt her, she quickly pulled it back. This wasn't the right time or place.

"Jane," she whispered the name. There was no response. "I'm sorry," she said softly. Jane, who lay facing the other side still, her eyes open…just nodded her head and let the single tear fall.

Shut down again.

There would be no others. Jane was tired of having her heart broken, No more.

Jane wasn't sure what kind of game Maura was playing…but she didn't appreciate it. It hurt her. Maura was playful and flirting with her one moment and then pulling back the next. Jane knew better then to get involved with someone like this…someone who didn't know who or what they wanted.

They'd be hitting town within a week. Jane knew exactly what she'd need when she got there. She let out a soft sigh. It had been far too long since she'd known the touch of a lover…felt the passion…the fire. And if Maura didn't want her, so be it. But Jane wasn't going to wait any longer.

Xxxxxxxxxx

The next few days seemed to pass quickly for the travelers. They reached their town on time. It had been decided as a group that winters arrival was early this year and to put up roots in the town till spring was the best idea.

"I think you negotiated a fair price," Jane said pulling their wagon up to the old house. It definitely needed some work.

"You think?"

"Yeah…considering its condition and location to the town. You did good work Maura."

"Thanks Jane," Maura smiled.

"Leo…come on and help me unpack these," Jane got out of the wagon as Leo made his way around. "We should check the roof and make sure it doesn't need any work first. What do you think son?"

"Sounds good," Leo nodded and grabbed their tools chest. He and Jane walked around the back side of the small house they would be calling home for the next few months. Maura smiled hearing Jane call Leo, 'son.' It warmed her heart. Then again, Jane was always warming her heart.

The house was simple. Plain. But it would be a home. Maura was sure of that. She looked around. The fireplace was in good condition. The kitchen was simple…as was the den/eating area. There was a bedroom downstairs and a loft upstairs. Leo laid claim to it quickly as he climbed up the ladder.

"This is great Maura!" he called down. "It's like a fort!"

"Well it's all yours," Maura smiled. "Better then a tent huh?"

"Can I get a mattress to sleep on?"

"It's on the list for tomorrow," Jane called up. "Along with some supplies. We'll have to be sure we place a good order to last us through the winter," Jane looked at Maura.

"Okay," Maura nodded. Right now most of her faith was in Jane and her knowledge of the land and how to handle a winter in a place like this. For Maura and Leo….all they had was city life.

"I'll get the rest of the things out of the wagon," Jane said heading toward the door. "The roofs good. The walls seem sound. The barn needs a little work though. Leo and I can take care of that over the next few weeks."

"So…we'll be all set?" Maura asked hopeful.

"We'll be fine," Jane nodded yet Maura could sense her distance.

"Jane…are you okay?" Maura asked approaching her quietly.

"I'm fine," Jane nodded and faked a smile.

Maura looked up to see Leo was still in his own little world setting up his room. "Is this about the other night. If it is…"

"No," Jane cut her off. "it's not. I'm fine Maura." Jane smiled again and went to get the last of their things put away. Maura watched her go.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"And we'll take a pound of the flour too," Jane said glancing down at her list. She saw Leo had taken interest in the back of the store where the clerk's daughter was playing checkers with him. Jane smiled. 'Just like Maura.'

"Anything else Ms?"

"I think that should do for now. How about those chickens we discussed. The price seem fair to you?"

"I think we could arrange that," the clerk nodded and smiled. He glanced back to see his son and daughter now laughing with Leo. "I think my kids have taken a liking to your son."

"I think so," Jane smiled.

"Now you mentioned cattle," the man said scratching his beard. "See Nick. He'll give you a fair price. Tell him I sent you."

"I appreciate that," Jane nodded.

"Hey I try to treat my customer's right," the store manager said. "That was they keep coming back. You're traveling with that group that set up in town aren't you?"

"Yes sir."

"We're glad to have you folks for the winter. Is it true you have a Doctor with you?"

"Yes Sir."

"My kids…they haven't been examined in a good year and a half. Do you think he'd be willing…"

"She would," Jane nodded.

"She? Well you New Englanders really are quite the story. Thanks Ms."

"Jane," Jane smiled, extending her hand.

"Gary."

"Thank you Gary. Let's go Leo. We got more supplies to pick up and errands to run."

"Coming Jane," Leo smiled. "I've got to go guys," he waved. "Nice meeting you."

"Bye Leo," the children smiled and waved back.

"So…already meeting new kids," Jane laughed. "You've managed to fit right in I see."

"I try," Leo smiled. "I want to be like you Jane. I want to make friends and help people along life."

Jane smiled. "Is that what you think I do?"

"No…that's what Maura thinks. I just think you're pretty and can shoot like no man I know." Jane stifled her giggle.

"Thanks…I think."

"Maura thinks you're pretty too Jane," Leo added. Jane glanced at him and continued walking.

"How about her Jane? Do you think she is pretty?" Leo asked pointing to one of the ladies standing outside. Jane glanced up. The woman, a dark haired beauty smiled in their direction.

"Sure," Jane said trying to act as unimpressed as she could.

"So do I," Leo smiled. Jane laughed. "I'm being respectful though Jane. Just like you." Leo glanced at the woman across the way again. "She's looking at you," Leo said glancing up at Jane.

"Who?"

"That lady," Leo pointed.

"Boy…don't point," Jane said under her breath. She glanced up to see the woman was indeed starring at her. Jane tipped her hat and smiled. She felt her breath catch as the woman walked up to them.

"Now there is something you don't see in this town every day," she smiled. She looked Jane up and down. "A beautiful woman…in pants and a cowboy hat."

"I guess it depends on where you're from," Jane smiled.

"I'm Simone," the woman extended her hand and smiled.

"Jane."

"Jane," Simone repeated the name…but for some reason it sounded much better when Simone said it Jane had thought.

"Who is this handsome young man?" Simone asked glancing down at Leo.

"Leo."

"Nice to meet you Leo."

"Pleasure is all mine," Leo smiled. Jane shook her head and smiled. Oh boy…he was in love.

"So…he yours?" Simone asked looking down.

"No," Jane smiled and placed her head on top of Leo's head. "Just like my own though." Leo smiled from ear to ear. He knew Jane cared about him…but hearing her say it meant the entire world to him.

"Where is his Mama?"

"Back at the house," Jane said as she quickly remembered Maura. "We should be going."

"Well Jane…I hope to see you around town again?"

"Sure," Jane smiled watching Simone walk away.

"She likes you," Leo said with a hush.

"What?"

"She likes you Jane," Leo teased.

"Come on," Jane pushed Leo ahead. "We've got more shopping to do." She glanced back at Simone one last time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jane laughed as Leo played with the new stick game she had bought him. "It's harder than it looks you know," he smiled at her.

"Let me have a go at it," Jane said standing up and giving it a twirl. Maura, who was working on and needle point watched the two with a smile.

"So Jane," Leo said making sure he knew his Maura was listening. "Are you going to see Simone tomorrow?"

"Ah," Jane felt her heart skip a beat.

"Who is Simone?" Maura asked curious.

"A woman we met today."

"She was beautiful," Leo smiled. "And I think she liked Jane."

"Okay Leo. I'd say it's time for bed."

"Yes Mam. Goodnight," he said coming up and kissing her.

"Goodnight," Jane leaned down and hugged and kissed the boy.

"Night Maura," he smiled.

"Night baby."

Leo climbed up the ladder and Maura and Jane sat in silence.

"Well…I'm tired. I think I'll get to bed now." Jane stood and stretched. She made her way into the bedroom. Maura blew out the lantern and followed her.

"So I was thinking," Jane said glancing around the room. "I asked about getting another bed. Looks like I'll be able to order one for next week sometime. So you'll have plenty more space," Jane smiled as she stood in the corner and took off her top, throwing on a clean shirt. She slipped out of her pants and got in under the covers. Maura just watched confused.

"I don't mind sharing the bed," Maura said honestly. "You're a quiet sleeper."

"Yes but you should have your own space." Jane said rolling on her side.

"You don't."

"Well just the same…"

"Are you not comfortable sharing a bed with me Jane?" Maura asked softly as she climbed in beside Jane.

"No, that isn't it," Jane shook her head and turned to face the woman.

"Then why the change?"

"Maura," Jane said the name softly as she closed her eyes and tried to explain her thoughts as best she could. She had rehearsed it a million times over. "I care about you so much. I…I made my feelings clear. And you don't feel the same. I understand that."

"How can you understand when I don't?"

"Maura you know what you want. It's not me."

Jane waited for Maura to say something. To say anything. But she didn't. She just watched Jane. Jane took the silence as rejection. "It's okay Maura. I understand," she said softly. She leaned forward and kissed her friends forehead.

"Jane…"

"Goodnight," Jane said softly as she rolled back over again and closed her eyes. Maura just watched her back. "I know what I want," she said softly. A few minutes had passed when Maura gathered her courage. Slowly, she made her way over closer to Jane and wrapped her arms around the woman. "I want you," she whispered kissing Jane's exposed shoulder. All she heard was the soft snore. Maura smiled.

"Tomorrow," she said softly.

xxxxxxxxxxx

"Well hello," Simone smiled as Jane approached the bar.

"Hi," Jane smiled. "How are you?"

"Better now," Simone smiled. "Jane, right?"

"I was just in town…picking up some things. I thought I'd come by and get a drink."

"Already a reason to drink?" Simone asked smiling and moving in closer to the woman.

"No," Jane laughed nervously.

"Do I make you nervous Jane?" Simone asked reaching up and taking off Jane's hat.

"No," Jane shook her head clearly lying.

"Where's the cute little boy you were with."

"Home…with his mother."

"Are you…with his mother too?" Simone asked curiously. She wasn't naïve to these things.

"No," Jane said softly and lowered her head. Simone noted the rejection.

"But you want to be?"

Jane just remained silent. "Silence is always a yes," Simone nodded and poured Jane a shot. "Drink this. It'll make you feel better."

"I'm not much of a drinker."

"Trust me. Simone's specialty," Simone winked and lifted the glass to Jane's lips. "Open and say ahhh."

The double meaning was not lost of Jane. She watched Simone curious. Curious was the best way to describe Simone. "Are you hitting on me?" Jane asked smirking.

"Cute and smart," Simone nodded. "I like that in a woman." Simone moved in even closer…so close that there was barely an inch between the two women.

"How was it?" Simone asked seductively.

Jane opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Must be lonely…out on the road…with no one to love…" Simone closed the gap between them and locked lips with a stunned Jane. Simone moaned softly as her hands came up behind Jane, pulling her even closer. Jane let out a soft sigh. It had been so long since she had been kissed…by someone who kissed her back.

"Jane!" Jane pulled away and looked up to see Maura standing there…a very unimpressed expression on her face.

xxxxxxxxx

It was one of those "everything slows down and you can hear every sound, feel every move…like your senses were heightened" Jane thought inwardly as she looked suddenly like she had just been caught with the Sheriffs daughter. But even that had only happened once…and she had been 13 at the time. If not for the moment…Jane would have let a smile come to her face at the fond memory.

"Jane!" the voice repeated again this time laced with hurt, anger…and jealousy?

"Maura," Jane stepped back from Simone. "Maura…I…this…we…" Jane's eyes darted to Simone for some help. Simone smiled and read the situation all too well. She had seen it a dozen times with the men in town.

"Simone," Simone smiled and extended her hand. "This is my bar."

"Pleasure," Maura nodded and shook the woman's hand. Simone was older looking…but not by much. "Maura."

"Nice to meet you Maura."

"I was just having a drink," Jane said finally.

"With her lips?" Maura asked almost amused. Almost.

"I kissed her," Simone said. "I was not aware you two were…well involved."

"We're not," Maura said lowering her eyes.

"So there is no problem them," Simone replied looking at Jane for a nod. Jane just looked confused. Simone could read it all too well. Jane wanted Maura. Maura wanted Jane. But there was something standing in their way. And Simone had a pretty good idea what it was.

"Hey girl," came the raspy voice from behind them. The three women turned around and saw a handsome young man approach.

"Leo," Simone smiled from ear to ear. Maura smiled at the mention of her sons name…but this was not her son. No, this Leo was much older, much more handsome. "Leo this is Maura and Jane. This is my brother Leo," Simone smiled and watched Leo approach the two women.

"Howdy," Leo smiled tipping his hat.

"Our sons name is Leo…my son…I mean the boy who travels with us," Maura said softly.

"I like him already," the older Leo laughed.

"Where's my girl at?" Leo asked looking around.

"Upstairs…getting dolled up for your return."

Leo smiled ear to ear. "Excuse me ladies. But I've got a wife I've been aching to see for a few weeks now," Leo nodded and headed upstairs. "Pleasure meeting you both."

"Same here," Jane smiled.

"Lacey baby!" Leo called out as he ran up the stairs.

"Must be nice…having someone to come home to," Simone smiled watching Maura and Jane lock eyes briefly before turning away.

"I'm sure," Jane nodded.

"Well ladies. I've got work to do…so if you'll excuse me," Simone smiled.

Maura and Jane stood there…an awkward silence between them. "What did you come into town for?" Jane asked looking at the woman.

"To find you," Maura said softly. "See if you wanted to have dinner…"

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Again…silence. "Maura look…I…it didn't mean…"

"Jane," Maura said the name softly. "It's okay," she looked as Simone went about her work. "She's pretty."

"Where's Leo?"

"Outside…playing with his friends…"

"Oh," She turned back to Simone and then back to Maura again. "Can we get out of here?"

"Sure," Maura nodded.

"I was told there are some hot springs…about half a mile down Millers way. You…you want to take a ride?"

"Sounds nice," Maura nodded. Just spending time with Jane was all she needed…after last night and now this.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"We're here," Jane smiled pulling the wagon to a stop.

"Hopefully this will turn out better then our last bathing adventure."

"Don't remind me," Jane laughed and helped Maura down.

The women entered the small shack. "Jane can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Jane nodded as she began to undress and get into the hole next to Maura. "wow…sure is hot isn't it."

"Feels good though."

"It does" Jane nodded and closed her eyes.

"Do you like her?" Maura asked Jane as they lowered themselves into the waters.

"Who?" Jane played dumb. She knew women well enough to know when one of them was jealous or unhappy or both. Right now she was pretty sure Maura was feeling both.

"You know who," Maura answered. "Don't play dumb with me Jane Rizzoli. I know you too well."

"Simone."

"Yes. Simone. Do you like her?"

"She's nice," Jane answered.

"Do you think she is pretty?"

"Yes."

Maura just nodded. Jane took the silence was unease. "That does not mean anything Maura. I think lots of women are pretty."

"But she seems to like you."

"Maybe," Jane nodded.

"And you're okay with that?" Maura asked slightly put off.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Jane laughed.

"Forget it…" Maura shook her head and grew silent.

"Are you jealous!" Jane asked amused.

"No," Maura said shocked.

"You are! Oh God you're jealous!"

"I am not," Maura shook her head.

"Believe me honey," Jane smiled. "Simone's got a lot going for her," Jane laughed. "A lot but one thing."

"What's that?" Maura asked.

"She isn't you," Jane winked.

Maura felt her face grow hot and flush. She swam closer to Jane and moved in closer.

"Maura," Jane said the name as though she was confused. "What are you doing?"

"Shut up and kiss me," Maura smiled and moved her lips over Jane's own.

xxxxxxx


	8. What goes around Comes around

a/n: Thank you for the feedback and all the new followers. I hope you guys are still enjoying this.

xxxxx

Jane had always considered herself a woman of action. She always did what she was told, at least when it came to Maura. She smiled and leaned forward, crushing her lips to Maura's own. She felt the surge of electricity move through her when she and Maura's body connected.

"God," Maura breathed. It was the most intense thing she had even experienced.

"I know," Jane said between kisses. She understood what Maura was feeling. The urgency. The need. The raw desire. She understood, because she felt it too.

"This feels…it feels…" Jane tried to express herself but she wasn't always the best with words.

"…right," Maura finished for her, sealing any afterthought with a kiss on Jane's lips.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maura and Jane rode back to their home. Jane was in front. Maura, sitting directly behind her, had her arms wrapped tightly around the taller woman. "I'll tie the horse up," Jane smiled getting down and offering her hand to Maura. Maura took it and didn't miss a chance to wrap her arms around Jane, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Not sure I deserved that," Jane winked.

"Trust me," Maura laughed nervously. "After the last hour…you deserve that and then some…"

Jane felt a blush come on.

"I like this," Maura said touching the side of Jane's face. "I like making your blush."

"I noticed," Jane smiled. "I'll be right in."

"Okay," Maura nodded and left the woman who had won her heart take the horse to the stable.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Something's different," Leo said looking between his mother and Jane.

"What are you talking about?" Jane asked laughing. Oh god, please say that wasn't my nervous laugh, she thought. She knew Leo could read her like a book. The boy always could.

"You. You and Maura. Something's different," Leo smiled as he took the last bite of his food.

"You and your imagination," Jane laughed. She looked to Maura for some help. But she could tell Maura was enjoying watching her squirm.

"You'll tell me when you're ready," Leo said evenly as he sipped from his water.

"What?" Jane asked a bit taken back.

"It's like Maura says to me. You'll tell me when you're ready. You're not ready. And Maura's not talking. So you'll tell me when the time is right and you're both ready."

"Are you sure you're only ten?" Jane asked Leo who laughed making his way up the ladder to his loft for the night.

"Your son no doubt," Jane rolled her eyes and laughed. "Are we going to tell him?"

"When we're ready," Maura nodded. "He already knows anyway."

"Knows what?" Jane asked.

"Knows how I feel about you. He knew before I even did. The boy is smart I tell you."

"He sure is," Jane nodded.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Simone pulled the horse to a stop by the house. Jane looked down from her spot on top of the shed she'd been working on re-roofing. Her sleeveless shirt was pulled up in the front, exposing her belly, which was tanned nicely. Simone didn't take her eyes off her prize.

"Hi Jane," Simone waved as Jane made her way down the ladder slowly.

"Hi Simone," Jane nodded. Simone noticed Jane seemed a little more than distance.

"You're getting so much sun," Simone said moving closer and touching Jane's arm. "A tan and muscles. Goodness. The men must be flocking."

"I'd hope not," came the voice from the doorway. Simone took a step back and saw Maura come forward.

"Hi," Simone smiled. There was no confusing the territorial look she'd been getting from Maura. It was clear Jane was not on the market so to say.

"I just wanted to drop this off," Simone smiled handing the basket to Maura.

"I cooked them myself."

"Thank you."

"So I wanted to invite you two to the dance tonight. It's at Millers Barn. Will you come?" "We'll be there," Maura smiled and nodded.

"Sure," Jane nodded.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He lit the cigar and took long puffs as he adjusted his hat. "That's the town," he said motioning forward with his head.

"Why that one Dad?"

"Cause I said so that's why."

"So we hit it and cut loose?" his son asked.

"No. We're going to set up camp for awhile. I'm getting too old for this," he said pointing to the horse. "Maybe this will be a good place to set up new digs, get some new boys to ride and perhaps get a sheriffs position."

"I'm sure they have a sheriff," his son mumbled.

"Then we'll kill him," Macleod laughed. "Come on…" he nudged the horse forward.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"So how do I look?" Maura asked a smiling Jane.

"Like you fell from heaven," Jane laughed.

"You're biased."

"I am. But that doesn't make it any less true," Jane said kissing Maura.

"Can I say something without sounding too forward?" Maura asked softly as she wrapped her arms around Jane's shoulders.

"You can say anything you want darling."

"I'm glad we taking this slow. You're so understanding…so patient," Maura leaned forward and kissed Jane deeply and lovingly.

"Keep kissing me like that and I'll wait as long as you need me too," Jane whispered keeping her forehead touched to Maura's own.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For understanding."

"Maura," Jane caressed Maura's face. "You don't have to thank me. Understanding has nothing to do with it. I love you. I'm in love with you. Making love is only one small part of the amazing life we have together right now. I want it…don't get me wrong," Jane smiled softly. "but I don't need it. Not till you're ready and you're not ready yet."

"I love you Jane Rizzoli."

"I love you too Maura."

xxxxxxxxxx

"You're quiet," Lacey said noticing Simone was in a funk.

"Well I guess my hopes for the evening didn't go exactly as I had planned."

"How so?"

"Well I planned to seduce Ms. Rizzoli and bring her home to my bed," Simone laughed. "But someone else already achieved that." Lacey followed Simone's eyes to Jane and Maura dancing on the floor, whispering and laughing and just being lost in each other's eyes.

"Sorry."

"Oh it's ok. I'll live." Simone sipped from her whiskey. "She's not the only single in town." Just then Simone held her breath. "Hello handsome rider."

Greenlee looked up and saw the man enter the hall. "Who is that?"

"I don't know. I'll go get his name," Simone smiled and made her way up to the rider who was new in town. In behind him walked an older man…in his late fifties.

"Howdy boys," Simone smiled. Both of the men were handsome. Spitting images of one another. Must have been father and son.

"Mam'," the younger one tipped his hat. "We were wondering if you had any rooms for rent?"

"Of course I do. For a handsome young thing like yourself," she smiled. The older man just rolled his eyes. Women were all alike. All flirt not action.

"I'm getting a drink," he grumbled and left his son behind.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maura stilled from her dancing. "what's wrong?" Maura asked. She could tell Jane was clearly upset. She followed her eyes. The young man standing with Simone?

"Do you know him?" Maura asked confused.

"He…he looks like someone…I knew…"

"You want me to get his name?" Maura asked concerned.

"No," Jane shook her head. "I…can we go now?"

"You want to leave?"

"Please Maura. I'll explain later."

"Okay," Maura nodded and ushered the woman out. As they rounded the corner Jane froze.

"Son of a bitch…" Jane mumbled. She reached for her side arm…but quickly realized it was gone.

"What's wrong Jane?"

The man at the bar heard the name. She spun around. He started laughing. "Well look here. Small world isn't it Jane?" the old man hissed and drank back the third shot of whisky. Maura felt the blood drain from her face. She knew only one man would fetch this kind of reaction from Jane.

"No…"

"Dad," the young man said approaching his son. "Come on Dad…let's get up stairs…"

"Don't man handle me son," he pulled his arm out of his sons grasp. "Look at this fine piece of ass," he sneered going to reach for Maura.

Jane looked from Maura and back to Macleod. Her head was spinning…she was processing it all too quickly. "You son of a bitch," she reached over and grabbed the gun out of the holster of the man next to her. She spun it around and clicked back the barrel only to be looking down the barrel of another gun…being held by the man's son.

It's all the same, only the names will change  
Everyday it seems we're wasting away  
Another place where the faces are so cold  
I'd drive all night just to get back home

"Don't," he hissed out not taking his eyes off Jane.

"Jane…" Maura touched her friends shoulder. "Don't…"

"Still the hot head ain't you?" Macleod laughed looking at his son. "She's a feisty one."

"Put down your weapon," Macleod's son asked emphasizing each word as a standalone.

"No," Jane said defiantly. "Not till he's six feet under the ground."

"You'll be right behind him," the son hissed.

"Ethan…she's just upset about a misunderstanding I think," Macleod laughed. "Something about a colored friend and a fire…isn't that right little girl?"

"You bastard…" Jane pushed the gun closer.

"Enough!" Ethan shouted again.

I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back  
I play for keeps, 'cause I might not make it back  
I been everywhere, still I'm standing tall  
I've seen a million faces an I've rocked them all

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride  
I'm wanted dead or alive  
I'm a cowboy, I got the night on my side  
I'm wanted dead or alive  
Wanted dead or alive

"Jane," Maura pulled her friend back. "Not here. Not now."

"Still as beautiful as ever," Macleod smiled.

"Maura…Jane," the young boy came into the room. "What's going on?" All sets of eyes fell on the boy. Maura glanced from Leo back to this man Jane held a gun on. His eyes. His nose. His cheek bone structure. 'Oh Dear god.'

"Well now…who is this strapping young man?" Macleod smiled. Maura felt her stomach turn.

"I'm Leo. Leo Isles," Leo smiled extending his chest out some.

"Leo…go wait for us outside," Jane said pushing the boy behind her.

"What's going on in here?"

"I said outside," Jane looked at the boy.

"A son," Macleod hissed and smiled. "Looks a lot like his brother doesn't he?" Macleod said looking at Ethan. "I'll be damned. I had no idea. Where did you pick him up Jane? Did you know he was one of mine?"

"Who is his brother?" Ethan asked not following what was going on.

"You are son," Macleod smiled.

I'm a cowboy, on a steel horse I ride  
I'm wanted dead or alive  
Wanted dead or alive

Sometimes I sleep, sometimes it's not for days  
And the people I meet always go their separate ways  
Sometimes you tell the day  
By the bottle that you drink  
And times when you're all alone all you do is think

"What?" Ethan asked confused and lowering his weapon. "Are you that boy's father?"

"Long story," Macleod laughed.

"You son of a bitch," Maura lunged for the man. "Stay away from my son…"

"Our son honey," Macleod laughed. "I do believe he was created out of love," Macleod winked. "But most certainly not with you. I know I'd recall someone as fine as you. Must have been some cheap whore I met up with all those years ago," he shrugged. "It happens."

"You couldn't love anything!" Jane said coldly.

"So it's true?" Ethan asked looking back and forth between his father and this woman he had barely met.

"You want truth!" Jane shouted as she was about to call him on all the horrible things his father was. But she knew this wasn't the time or the place.

"You'll get yours Macleod," Jane said calmly lowering her weapon and taking Maura by the hand.

"I'll be seeing you," Macleod waved and stood from the stool.

"Where is that room you told me about?" Ethan asked a concerned Simone.

"Sorry…no room left," Simone shook her head and turned around, her back to Ethan.

"Whore," Macleod hissed. "Come on lets go son."

Ethan watched the retreating form of the women. He didn't have all his answers but he'd have them soon enough.

xxxxxx

"What happened in there?" Ethan asked his father as they rode side by side.

"Hot headed women?" Macleod asked confused. "No worries."

"A son?"

"Oh. That."

"Yeah. That."

"Well it's a long story."

"I'm not going anywhere," Ethan said pulling his horse to a stop and holding his father's eyes. "Explain it. Now."

"Watch your tone young man." Macleod stopped his horse and looked at his song. "About ten years or so ago before you came into my life I wasn't as straight an arrow as I try to be now. I used to sleep around with whore. Sometimes it got rough. Nothing to get too excited over. One day, a woman came to me, claiming she was pregnant with my child. You know how those kind of women are son. I thought it was about money. So I turned her away. Had I know it was true. I'd have never abandoned by own flesh and blood."

"You abandoned me and my mom," Ethan said.

"Now you listen here," Macleod said. "I did not abandon you. You're mother wanted nothing to do with me. I tried to make an honest woman out of her. I did. She wouldn't have anything to do with it."

xxxxxxxxxx

Once home Maura went directly to the bedroom.

"Maura?" Leo said his mother names softly. "Jane what's wrong? Who was that man?"

"He was…someone from my past. He once killed someone I cared about very much."

"As much as you care about Maura?"

"I've never cared for anyone the way I care about you and your mother," Jane said holding Leo's eyes. "You know that don't you Leo?"

"Yes," Leo nodded.

"He can't hurt us can he Jane?" Maura finally spoke. She turned her head slowly to her son and then back to Jane. "I can't let him hurt us…I won't."

"He won't. I won't let him. You won't let him. It'll be ok Maura."

"What he said…"

"Meant nothing," Jane cut her off. "He's an old weak man now. And he isn't going anywhere near our son," Jane whispered so only Maura could hear her.

xxxxxxxxx

"The woman who pulled the gun on you?" Ethan asked trying to fit it together.

"Yeah. Bitch has had it out for me since I killed her whore girlfriend."

"Why did you kill her?"

"her family brought it on themselves. Didn't pay their rent. Had many warnings. When my boys and I went to collect her father drew a gun on us. We weren't left with much of a choice."

"I see,' Ethan nodded.

"So you met your brother tonight. Big day for you."

"I guess so."

Something still didn't feel right. Ethan couldn't put his finger on it yet. But he had the sneaky suspicion he would soon enough.

"Jane?" Maura looked up to see Jane getting into bed.

"yes?"

"He killed her. Macleod killed…"

"Yes," Jane nodded.

"Hold me," Maura whispered getting into bed beside Jane. "Hold me so close I can't feel where you end and I begin."

"Anything…"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


	9. Dead Wrong

The Sheriff has asked Maura to sit. He glanced down and began to read.

_If that man comes near my son…I swear to God…I'll kill him. I'll shoot him down, dead._

"Aren't these your words?" the sheriff asked.

"Yes," Maura nodded. "Is it legal for you to just read my things like that?"

"It's legal when murder is involved," the sheriff hissed and spit out some of his chew. Maura suppressed the gag that surfaced. "Now tell me Ms. Isles…did you do it?"

"Do what?" Maura asked confused. "What do you mean murder?"

"Macleod. He's dead."

Maura blinked twice and shook her head. "Wait…Are you suggestion I…"

"I'm not suggestion. I'm asking," the sheriff said spitting again.

"I didn't do it," Maura answered looking ahead of her.

"And what about your lady friend…Ms. Rizzoli? Think she might have had something to do with it?"

"Jane…" Maura's thoughts drifted back to a few nights previous.

xxxxx

_Maura glanced down at Jane who sat at the table, cleaning her gun._

_"Is that your side arm?" Maura asked. This was the first time in months she'd seen Jane carry it._

_"It is."_

_"Why are you cleaning it?"_

_"In case Macleod gets any ideas about coming near you or Leo."_

_"Do you think he would?" Maura asked as worry laced her voice._

_"He's not an easy man to read," Jane stood up and walked toward Maura. "But I swear to you this…he'll not harm one hair on your head or that boys head."_

_"How can we stop him?"_

_Jane clicked the arm to her side and spun the chamber. "We'll stop him…"_

_xxxx_

Maura locked eyes on the Sheriff. "No…Jane wouldn't do that?"

"What makes you so sure?" the sheriff asked.

"Cause I know her. I love her. She isn't capable of murder."

"Isn't she now?" the sheriff shook his head. "Doctor Isles- You don't know the same Jane Rizzoli I know then."

"What are you talking about?"

"The Jane Rizzoli that I know is a wanted woman in Pennsylvania."

"Wanted? For what?"

"Murder," the sheriff hissed. "Four men."

"It must have been self defense," Maura reasoned.

"One of them…with two sons. She shot him…while he was holding his little boy…trying to protect him. She is many things Doc…but she ain't no hero."

Maura shook her head. "She swore she'd protect us from him. She said she'd do anything. But she isn't capable of cold-blooded murder. Not that Jane I know."

"But she did say anything didn't she?"

Maura knew she has said too much. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No. You've answered all I need for now. Thank you."

Maura stood and made her way to the door. Macleod was dead. It was over. But…was it really?

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She opened the door to the house. Jane and Leo were sitting at the table. "Your room," Maura said locking eyes with Leo pointing her finger up. She quickly turned her heated gaze to Jane, "The barn."

"Maura?" Jane was confused.

"Barn. Now."

Jane stood placing her hand on Leo's shoulder she nodded and followed Maura outside.

"What's wrong Maur?"

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?" Jane shook her head and laughed. "I'm not following," Jane reached for Maura to pull her to a hug. "Unless this was an excuse to get out us here alone," she smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

"Don't," Maura pushed away.

"Maura?" Jane looked concerned now. "What's wrong with you?"

"God you did it didn't you?"

"Did what?" Jane was now upset. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"You killed him. Just like you killed those men."

"What?"

"Is it true?" Maura began pacing. "Did you kill men in cold blood?"

"Who told you about that?"

"It is…you did it didn't you? How could you?" Maura looked horrified. Jane just held her gaze and lowered her head. She turned to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me…" Maura reached for Jane. "If you did this…you need to tell me now Jane."

"I'm walking away from you," Jane said softly. "Because for the first time ever I can't look at you."

Maura opened her mouth but words didn't come out. She just watched Jane go.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Can I come in? I need a place to stay tonight and I don't know where else to go," she asked softly. The lights were dimming and the stools were all being put up.

"You look like someone killed your dog?"

"Just my heart," Jane said as a tear crept out.

"Come in baby," Simone opened the door and allowed the young woman in.

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The room was lit by only one candle. "What happened Jane?" Simone asked softly pouring Jane another shot.

"Why is it that when I think for once I've got it right…I find out how wrong I am."

"Maura?"

"She thinks I'm capable of murder," Jane laughed cynically. "And she always chooses to believe the worst in me. It's like a dance between us," Jane took another sip. "One step forward and two steps back."

"Jane Rizzoli," Simone took a deep breath. "You're making no sense. Now tell me what Maura's done before I take that bottle away from you."

"Macleod is dead," Jane said the name with a cold hatred that could only come from years of pain.

"And Maura thinks you did it?"

"Yup. No trial. No jury. Just the woman I gave my heart too…executing me," Jane laughed.

"You spoke of her not believing you…about something else. What?"

"She claimed I murdered three men."

"Did you?"

Jane looked at Simone and held her gaze. "You have beautiful eyes Simone," Jane said softly. "Have I ever told you that?"

"And you're a sweet talker Jane," Simone replied taking Jane's hand in her own and stroking it lovingly. "Now keep talking…"

"They murdered, raped, and killed four women. Hung a boy and his father," Jane said her eyes focusing on something from the past…ghosts that played out like a movie before her…and she was the only viewing audience. "Gutted like fish," she said shaking from the memories of digging the graves. "The law was paid off by Macleod, his men…the men I killed. The men I hunted down to bring to justice."

"Oh Jane," Simone felt her heart break. "How could Maura not see the pain in your eyes…not believe you…"

"Well that's just the thing," Jane laughed and wiped the falling tears. "She didn't even give me the chance. I was already guilty."

"Baby," Simone pulled Jane to her in a hug. "It's alright…It's going to be alright now…"

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"Where is Jane?" Leo asked coming down the stairs and looking around the kitchen area.

"She's…in town."

"She left without me?"

"What do you mean?"

"She was going to take me into town and we were going to…pick something up," Leo tried back stepping his words before the surprise was ruined.

"What's going on Leo?" Maura asked approaching her son.

"Nothing," Leo smiled and grabbed a muffin.

"Leo…tell me what you know," she ordered. It was clear to Leo that Maura was getting very upset.

"Maura," Leo smiled. "Jane swore me to secrecy…I can't break that."

"Leo," Maura shook her head. "I'm asking you tell me."

"What happened with you and Jane?" Leo asked sensing something was very out of place. "She didn't go into town this morning did she?"

"Tell me Leo!" Maura shouted. Leo felt the tears well up in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Maura realized she had lost her temper. "I'm sorry for shouting…I shouldn't have…I'm just…" Maura began to cry. The emotions were running too close to the surface now.

"Maura don't cry," Leo spoke softly and hugged her. "I'll tell you what Jane asked of me…just don't cry." His words barely registered on her ears.

"…ring…a surprise…special occasion…ask me to give…"

"Wait…what?"

"The ring. She got a ring for you…a mother's ring. It's got her birth stone, your birth stone…and mine," Leo smiled. "A family ring…for us. She said her mother had one just like it when she was little and she wanted you to have one too. It's a special ring for mothers who love and believe in their families the way you love and believe in me and Jane," Leo smiled. "That's what the surprise was Maura. We weren't keeping secrets from you in a bad way…"

"Oh God," Maura brought her hand to her lip.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I've got to run to town. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

"Of course," Leo smiled.

"I love you Leo. I love both you and Jane so much. You know this don't you?"

"We both do Maura," Leo nodded.

Simone opened the door to see a very disturbed Maura. "Maura," Simone looked behind her.

"I'm sorry to wake you…I'm looking for Jane. I've been everywhere…and I know you two are friends. I was hoping maybe…"

"Damn woman…that's the best bath I've ever had," Jane said coming out of the back room wrapped in only a towel.

Simone looked behind her and back to Maura.

"It's not…" Simone began but Jane cut her off.

"Any business of hers," she said walking up to Maura. "What do you want Maura? Any other murders you'd like to accuse me of? Perhaps a bank robbery or two?"

Maura felt the tears well up in her eyes. She slapped Jane across the face. It seemed only logical at the time.

"Is that all you got?" Jane asked. "After breaking my heart last night…a slaps nothing."

"Enough!" Simone shouted. She grabbed Maura by the arm and pulled her into the room.

"Let me go. I've seen enough. I don't need the tour," Maura spit out. "I'm glad I didn't sleep with her now. What was I Jane? A conquest?"

Jane felt like she had been sucker punched.

"Is that what you think of me Maura?" she asked honestly.

"Maura…don't make this worse," Simone warned. "You don't understand…Jane and I…"

"I don't care," Maura laughed. "Goodbye."

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I'm confused," Leo said following Jane around the house. "What's going on?"

"I've found a place in town I'm going to be staying at for just a bit."

"You're leaving us?" Leo asked.

"No. Never."

"Why aren't you staying here anymore?" Leo kept up with Jane who threw a few other things into her bag. "You promised Jane. You told me we'd be a family."

Jane stopped walking. "Don't you think I want that Leo?" she asked looking him in the eyes. "I want that more than anything else I've ever wanted on this earth."

"Then don't go. Stay. Fight."

"I wish it were that simple son," Jane came up to him and pulled him close, hugging him. "This doesn't change anything between us Leo. I love you more than anyone else on this earth. I'm here for you if you need me. You know that don't you?"

"Yes," Leo nodded lowering his head. "I don't want you to go Jane."

"I know," she nodded. She stopped before she reached the door. "I've got something for you."

"What?" Leo asked.

Jane reached into her bag and pulled out a small book and paper. "This used to belong to someone very important to me."

"Maura?"

"No," Jane smiled. "Not your Maura. This belonged to someone else very important to me. His name was Frankie."

"Frankie," Leo smiled.

"He was my little brother."

"I didn't know you had a brother," Leo smiled. "Will I ever be able to meet him?"

"He passed away," Jane said softly.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Jane smiled. "He loved to tell stories. Loved to write."

"Like me," Leo said.

"Just like you." Jane handed the book to him. "He used to write in here. Jot down his story ideas. I want you to have this. I know Frankie would have adored you," Jane smiled. "Almost as much as I do."

"What happened to Frankie?" Leo asked.

Jane lowered her head. "He was murdered."

"Did they catch the bad person?" Leo asked seeing the pain in Jane's eyes.

"No…" Jane shook her head as images of the men she'd killed flashed before her. "But I did."

Leo knew there was not a need to say more. He just nodded his head. "Thank you Jane. I promise I'll take good care of it."

"I know you will," Jane smiled. "I should go. I'll be by to see you soon Leo." She leaned down and kissed him softly on the cheek. "Take care of your Maura, okay?"

"Promise," he nodded.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maura came home to find Leo sitting at the table. "Hi," she smiled and hung up her coat. She could tell he had been crying. "Leo? What's wrong?"

"She's gone," Leo stood up from the table and for the first time in his life…he felt like a man. "She's gone because you didn't listen. You didn't hear."

"Leo I don't think you know what you're…"

"I know," he said holding the notebook in his hands. "I know they killed her brother. Murdered her friend too, Maura. Her friends family. I know she has ghosts in her closet…no more than you do, no more then I do," he shook his head. "I know you accused her of something she didn't do. Blamed her because it's easier to blame someone we love then look ourselves in the mirror."

"Leo!"

"She's gone!" Leo shouted. He opened the door and ran to the barn. Maura just watched him go. She walked into the bedroom and saw that the drawer that held Jane's things was in fact empty. She sat down on the bed. Closing her eyes she thought back to just a few nights ago.

_Maura moaned as Jane's body shifted into her own, like two puzzle pieces fitting together. Like they were made for each other. Maura lost herself in Jane's kisses. It was like the world was closed off. It wasn't till she felt Jane's hands running up her thigh Maura slowed her rapid breathing, "I…" Maura pulled back from Jane. "I can't. I'm sorry. Not yet…" Maura felt guilt wash over her._

_"It's okay," Jane hushed her and held her in safe warm arms. "It's okay."_

_"I know you're ready. I know you've been more then patient."_

_"And I'll continue to be patient till we're both ready," Jane kissed her lips softly. "I love you Maura Isles. I love every part of you. Not just one part of you."_

_Maura smiled. "How did you get so sweet?"_

_"I'm not sure," Jane smiled. "But it'd explain the tooth aches wouldn't it?"_

_Maura just laughed as she and Jane fell asleep in each other's arms._

Now she was alone.

Again.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The rain had finally drenched her hat and was slowly, insufferably slowly, dripping down the back of her neck. That was the finishing touch that made her day complete. Now, as night approached, she was ready to chuck it all, give up her distant dreams head back east. She thought…for once…just once, things could not get worse. As usual Jane had no idea how wrong she was.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Maura stormed into Simone's bar. "Where is she?" Maura asked, clearly soaked from not just the rain but also from her cried tears.

"Jane's not here Maura," Simone said approaching the young woman.

"She left. This is the only place she'd go- I'm sure of it."

"Jane and I are friends Maura."

"I'm more then aware of what you two are, thank you."

Simone shook her head. "This isn't lady like of me, but I honestly don't care. If you'd pull your head out of your ass for more than two seconds you'd have seen that woman was madly deeply in love with you. You didn't even want to hear an explanation. You just assumed. You always assume." Simone shook her head. "I don't blame her for leaving you."

Maura's hand came up and slapped Simone across the face. "How dare you!" Maura said in anger.

"You can slap me all you want Maura. It won't make the pain go away."

"I need…I need…"

"What you need is to hear what happened," Simone said grabbing the woman by the elbow and leading her to the table in the back room.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Gunfighter._ She had practiced daily from the time she was twelve and she believed she was one of the fastest. She'd never brag about. She wasn't the bragging type of person. There was nothing fun about using a gun. It was a means to an end. Sitting there in the rain, soaked cold and shaking she knew she wouldn't be able to get too far along before the snow started. To be truthful, she didn't really know what she was doing here, either.

Before with Maura and Leo she had purpose. She had love. Now in her gathering gloom she could see a movement far down the trail. Jane slowly reached to her side. She drew her weapon. It was too dark to be anything but careful.

"Hello?" came the voice.

He was covered in soaked clothes and shaking. His hands bloody. His face was badly beaten.

"Please…help me."

"Oh my God…" Jane whispered. She drew her gun. _'You've got to be kidding me...'_

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

"…after her brother's death," Simone said sadly. "She was alone. That family took her in. She made it on her own for some time. They were accepting of her lifestyle. She finally had a friend," Simone smiled just a bit. "Jane said it was the first time she actually looked forward to getting up."

"She never told me about her brother. Macleod killed him…God I can't hear any more of this."

"Everyone she loved. He's killed everyone Maura. And now in her eyes…he's killed what you two had."

"When the sheriff told me about Jane. The men she killed. She never told me. I didn't know. I just thought that because she had kept it from me she was hiding something in her past."

"She was," Simone shook her head, her anger now evident. "Someone like Jane will always run from their past, Maura. They'll keep running till they find a place they can call home. And when they do that…when they find someone who will love them and protect them, they'll do everything they can to make sure it doesn't get ruined. Can't you see all Jane wanted was your love," Simone stood up.

"I have to find her Simone. Please. You've got to tell me where she went."

"I don't know where she's gone Maura," she said sadly.

A sudden boom from thunder caused both women to look up. The doors swung open as the sheriff came inside, dragging a body with him. "Simone," the sheriff shouted. Jane came in by the feet end. She laid the body down. "He's hurt pretty bad."

Maura saw Jane. "Jane…" she began moving to her. She stopped seeing the blood all over Jane's jacket and looking down.

"I should have left you out there to die you bastard," Janemummbled looking down at the wounded body she dropped to the floor. "That would have been the humane thing. But I can't have that on my conscious. Not now," Jane shook her head and looked up seeing Maura.

"Maura…what are you doing here?"

"I came looking for you," Maura couldn't take her eyes off the man.

"Don't look at him honey," Jane approached Maura standing in her line of view.

"Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" Maura's hand went to Jane's face, wiping the rain soaked hair.

"I'm fine. I found him on the eastern trail. He was near dead." Jane looked over at the sheriff. "Someone shot him. Twice. Who was it that told you he was dead."

"His son," the sheriff scratched the side of his head. "I'm sorry for assuming…"

Jane looked at Maura while answering the sheriff. "It's okay. Seems to be a common trend these days."

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a/n: Thank you to all the new followers and to the people who take a moment to review this and all my stories. As many of you who write know, those reviews mean the world to us. So thank for taking time to send a little love.


	10. Happy Endings

"How is he?" The sheriff asked looking as the doctor.

"He won't make it," Maura shook her head. "He's lost too much blood. The infections spreading. His fever is too high."

The sheriff nodded. He turned and looked at Jane. "Ms. Rizzoli I need to speak with you for a moment," he gestured for Jane to follow him. Outside on the porch of the bar he lowered his head and took off his hat.

"I've lost three good men in the last year trying to do what's right for this town. I was wrong about you. I'm sorry for that."

"It's okay," Jane nodded. "You were just doing your job."

"It's too much for me," he shook his head. "Too much for me to do alone. I guess what I'm asking is…well this town needs a woman like yourself who stands up for people…too people even when necessary. I've never been one to turn my head just because a woman takes command. I'd be honored if you'd be my deputy Ms. Rizzoli. With Macleod down, his men will most likely take loose on this town. I need a good side arm and a good fighter."

Jane considered his words. She simply moved back the leathers of her jacket as he understood the gesture, he placed the brass star on her shirt. "Deputy Rizzoli."

"Sheriff," Jane nodded and turned to go back inside.

"I made up a room for you if you so decide to use it," Simone said softly as she began walking away. Alone, now the two women sat in the bar. Jane sat at the table with Maura, glancing around. "So you're going to be a deputy," Maura said watching as Simone closed the door behind her to her room.

"Looks that way."

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," Maura said closing her eyes. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I was a jealous fool. I overreacted and said things that were not right. I accused instead of listened. I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you."

"Do you?"

"Of course," Jane nodded.

"Will you come home?"

Jane hesitated. "Maura I forgive you…but…it's going to take some time for me."

Maura nodded slowly. "I see."

"I love you Maura. You know I do. I love you with every part of me that is pure and true."

Maura slowly stood from the chair and walked to Jane.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked softly watching as Maura gently straddled her legs.

"Something I've wanted to do for a long time…" She leaned forward and began kissing Jane. Soft gentle kisses, full of love and promises. With kisses distracting Jane, Maura slowly brought her hand up and began touching Jane's face, caressing the side of her neck.

"So beautiful," she whispered slipping Jane's jacket off her shoulders. "So sweet," she deepened the kiss.

Jane didn't say any words; she just lost herself in the feeling of Maura moving on top of her, pulling her closer with each caress.

Making their way to the room Simone has set aside for them they closed the door behind them. "Let me change real quick Maura," Jane said realizing her short still had Macleod's blood on it. Maura made her way to the bed, quickly undressing and getting under the covers as Jane emerged from the small room to the left that held a water bowl and clean linens. Maura gasped when she realized Jane was wearing nothing but her personal undergarments. She felt her breathing becoming slightly erratic at the site of her mostly naked friend. This was it. This was finally happening.

"Maur," Jane paused as she approached the bed.

"I'm nervous. Not that it's with you…I'm just nervous about this," Maura motioned between them, moving the covers so Jane could join her in bed.  
"Well for what it's worth Hun," Jane paused before moving to close. "I'm nervous about this…and that it's with you." That made Maura smile. Jane leaned in and slowly kissed Maura. It was gentle and tender and all the things that had made Maura love Jane so. "But if you want," Jane whispered ever so slightly pulling back just the tiniest. "I can get a different room. We don't have to…"

"I'm not that nervous," Maura smiled as she pulled Jane closer to her. Jane shifted herself so she was now positioned over Maura, as Maura pulled her closer for another kiss. It was deeper, longer, and far more passionate then any kiss Jane had ever got. Jane's body weight shifted slightly, now fully on Maura who suppressed a soft moan at the feeling of Jane's skin touching her own. This was the most intimate they'd ever been and Maura couldn't believe her incredible she felt, how turned on she was. Jane went to reach for the lamp to turn it off.

"wait," Maura hushed in-between kissed. "Wait," she said again, lifting the final pieces off both her and Jane, the final layers preventing them from feeling each other totally, granting her full access to every part of Jane she's both seen and never seen. Jane gulped slightly as Maura leaned up, Jane now straddling her. "I want to see you," Maura whispered. "Your body is so beautiful Jane," Maura said as she pulled Jane closer to her, feeling Jane's excitement on her own belly as Jane's legs wrapped around her. Maura's fingers traced the scar at Jane's side. The bullet that she taken projecting their son, their son…it brought a smile to her face as she traced the scar. "I love you Jane," Maura whispered moving to one of Jane's breast, kissing it sweetly and softly enjoying every single moment like it would be her last. Maura smiled when she heard Jane's moans of pleasure from the sensations she knew she was causing. Maura was doing this to Jane, Maura was given this pleasure to Jane and now she felt empowered. "Mine," Maura whispered moving to the other breast as Jane's fingers ran though Maura's hair, pulling her in closer. "Yours Maura. Always yours," Jane answered.

_I placed the logs on the fire. Maura is sleeping peacefully in our bed. Tonight…we made love. It has been so long since I allowed myself to open up to anyone like that. Maura, the same. Tonight, as I held her, she told me I was the first woman she had ever allowed to touch her, and was in fact the first person she'd made love too._

_I felt humbled and honored. But I also felt like I had betrayed her in a way. I've had past indiscretions I'm not proud of with many women- women who sold themselves. I know it is the way, but still makes me feel even more foolish._

_Maura is the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on. Her spirit and soul touches me in ways I could never imagine. Tonight, she told me she wanted to consummate our relationship. I was fearful she was rushing into this, out of fear to lose me. But my fears quickly left when I felt her touches, her fingers tracing along my stomach, and down my thighs. No…Maura knew exactly what she wanted._

_Tonight I told her I wanted to be with her for life. She cried. I did also._

_I know she worries about me taking on this job. But if I could perhaps regain some of the justice that this town and area lacks these days, it would be worth while to me._

_Tomorrow we go home to Leo._

_I know the boy will be happy. He no doubt trusts me to love him and his mother and provide for them, which I intend to do till there is no life left in me._

_Maura is my life._

_Leo is my life._

_Without them I'm nothing._

"Jane?"

Jane looked up and smiled, folding the paper in half. "Hi sweetheart." Jane got into bed. "I was just putting some wood on the fire."

"Are you cold?" Maura smiled, caressing Jane's shoulder and arm.

"Not anymore," Jane whispered and kissed Maura.

"Never in my lifetime did I think I could be so lucky to find someone as amazing as you," Maura said looking Jane in the eyes. "you complete me Jane Rizzoli."

"As do you complete me," Jane kissed her. "Forever?"

"Forever."

They'd never seen from or heard from Macleod's son. It was assumed, though never proven, he'd been the one to shoot the old man. Jane suspect, in her gut, that even if she did catch him, she'd let him go.

To know your father is capable of certain things like stealing, bribery…well one could live with those things. To find out your father was a murderer…and capable of doing things a brain couldn't process, let alone a heart…Jane believed that was enough to push him over the edge.

Her new job kept her busy, but it also meant the choice would have to be made. Would she leave her small word she and Maura had created her to continue moving west?

The day had caught up to Jane. She spent it looking for the horse thief that had been stealing and robbing the town people. So far, little to no clues had been left.

Jane smiled as she galloped on the horse. The idea of coming home to Maura…warmed her heart. It had been six wonderful months of lovemaking, sweet kisses, and other loving exchanges. She got off the horse and went inside. "Maura?" she called out. There was no answer. "Baby I'm home!" Still nothing. The noises from her horse outside made Jane smile. She walked out and rubbed him behind the ear. "You're really that hungry?" she smiled and led him to the barn. The door had been left open.

"Maura must have forgot to close it," Jane smiled. That was Maura…always forgetting. Rounding the corner and putting the horse in his stall…Jane came to a stop.

"Maura," Jane smiled as she entered the barn seeing Maura and Leo standing there. "What's going on?"

"We're glad you're home," Maura encouraged Leo giving him a mild shove.

"Jane," Leo moved closer pulling out his notebook Jane had given him months before. "Every day I write in here, about you, Mom, and our life here…" Leo paused looking back at Maura who was smiling because Leo had called her 'mom'. "Well we've been talking and we'd like it, well that is, if you were okay with it, we'd like to stay on here."

Jane looked at Maura. "Are you sure?" she asked. "This wasn't your dream Maura," Jane moved closer to Maura, touching Leo's cheek with a smile.

"No," Maura nodded. "It wasn't my dream. My dream was to move west, start over, begin a family, have a home. And with you and Leo I have all that and more." Maura leaned forward kissing Jane.

"Yuck," Leo replied. "I'm going inside. I'll put some wood on the stove for us."

"Thanks Leo," Jane looked down at her son. "No problem…Ma."  
"Ma," Jane laughed. "That's what I used to call my…well Ma." Jane looked at Maura. "Do I look like a Ma?"

"Most certainly."

"Thanks, Mom." Jane kissed her again hearing the barn door close. "You know he'll be inside till we get in there," she whispered kissing Maura's neck.

"It's freezing out here Jane Rizzoli."

"I'll keep you warm," Jane winked as her hands slid to the front of Maura's shirt and began kissing her neck.

"My…" Maura smiled feeling the blush creep up her neck.

"Welcome home Doctor Isles."

"Welcome home Deputy Rizzoli."

Present Day

"She wasted so much time," Maura said looking up. "Maura wasted so much time being afraid and running."

"And Jane was too proud," Jane added sitting down next to Maura. "They found a life. A son." Jane felt herself began to cry a little looking at the old historical documents.

"Jane…"

"Keep reading," Jane whispered kissing Maura. "You need to see how the story ends."  
"No…" Maura closed the journal. "No…I don't want too."

"But we need to learn from…"

Maura cut her off. "History? We are learning. You're here. I'm here. I can't read about how two people from our families past met each other, fell in love…I have you."

Jane watched confused as Maura stood from the couch.

"Do you think that perhaps it was…fate?" Jane asked coming to stand by Maura's side. "You and I coming together."

"Do you believe in fate?" Maura asked.

"I'm not sure," Jane answered softly. "But I do know one thing I believe in."

"What's that?"

"You. You and I. I believe in us…and that little girl," Jane pointed to their sleeping daughter, Eryn. "I believe that together we can do anything."

"I love you Jane," Maura smiled softly as a tear formed in her eyes.

"I love you too," Jane moved in closer. "So…this is how the story ends?" Jane asked hopeful.

"It's not the end," Maura smiled kissing Jane softly. "It's just the beginning."

END

FIN

So what do you guys think? Did you like it?


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